This famous Shakespeare quote packs quite the little punch. It seems simply straight forward
enough, right? Be true to yourself.
Sure, easypeasy. But . . . life is never so easy. What if you
do not know yourself? That is a very loaded question. You may think you know yourself, but really
think about it; do you? We all wear
different masks in life; Who we are with our friends is not who we are at home,
and that person is not who we are at work.
We may have different tendencies in front of different people, i.e. you
cannot be your ‘party persona’ at work, but at the core we are always the same
person. Our mannerisms, values, morals, and
general thinking remain the same.
However, what if you are unsure of who you are at your core? We all grow
from past experiences, but what if where and who you are in life right now is not where
you think you should be? What if all of your friends are getting
married and on baby number two and you are still single and working the bar
circuit? Is that to say that your life
is ‘wrong’ just because it’s different than your friend’s? No.
Wherever you are at in life is where you put yourself; own it! There is
nothing wrong with you or where you are at.
If you don’t like something, change it.
If you do not like where you are or who’s around you, leave. You always have the choice to better yourself
and your situation. Every day is a
chance to start over.
Although, there are some people that are happy in their
situations. If you’re happy with your
life, even if it’s not where you think you should
be, who cares? You’re happy, right? Enjoy it! That is what being true to yourself is all
about. Wherever you are, whatever you’re
doing, regardless of everyone else, if it makes you happy, then it cannot be wrong. People are going to always have something to
say or judge you or make some snide comment, this is part of life. The blow will sting a lot less if you were
confident in your convictions and proud of yourself.
I genuinely feel bad for people that are wishy-washy with
their choices. The people that have no
confidence in anything they do, enough to hold their head high and say ‘yeah,
maybe I made a mistake, but that was then and I am over it now.’ Some people wallow in their mistakes,
overthinking them, and let those regrets destroy them. You cannot change the past, it's gone, get over it. Furthermore, anyone who would hold a mistake
against you is negative and petty and you do not need that kind of judgmental energy in your life. But, if you keep making the same
mistakes, then you aren’t sorry and you have no intention of changing . . .
Which is fine, but again, own it. Whatever your choices are, just own them.
I pride myself on being a really good judge of
character. I can pretty much read
someone’s intentions a mile away. So
when I, infrequently, get surprised by someone, it comes as quite the
shock. I am a firm believer that like-minded
people stick together. Who you surround
yourself with is a direct reflection on you. Sure, you may have some friends that aren't like you, but mainly there is a reason why you guys are close. That is not to say that if you and your
friends have different goals that you should cut them out; I have a few friends
that I am close with who are not on the same pages of life as I am, there are always exceptions. But just keep in mind this is what outsiders
see.
In any kind of relationship (romantic or otherwise) you
should challenge each other and bring out the best, each learning new things
about yourselves. That is what I bring
to a relationship (even friendships). As
I have said in blogs before, I am a very critical and analytic person. I am always thinking and rethinking things
over, taking the smallest scenario or fact and dissecting it to bits until I
find something new. I know when I am
with someone, unintentionally, I definitely challenge them. I make them think about things that they may
not have previously noticed about themselves.
I know what I want out of life. I
may not be there just yet, but I am certainly on my way and in good standing to
put myself there shortly. That kind of
determination and certainty in character is very intimidating to other
people.
I have a friend who has the whole world in front of
him. Every option is dangling at his able
fingertips, if only he could make up his mind.
The fact that I lay out all the pros, cons and facts of each option, to
give him the fullest and most detailed picture possible (I am the perpetual
overthinking planner, after all) petrifies him.
For once I made him really think about what he wanted out of life, and I
do not think anyone’s ever really asked him. To be honest, most people don’t really care, only a few people are genuine enough to
take a real interest in your life. However, you should know what you want for
yourself. After challenging him to step
out of his comfort zone, dig deep and really
look at things, I am not too sure he was happy with what he saw. He became scared and confused because where
he wanted to be in life and where he was at in life were very contrasting
places. What he failed to realize is, most people feel the same way. Life
is about progress, not perfection. As
long as we’re moving towards who and where we want to be, there is no reason to beat
ourselves up or freak out that we aren’t there yet.
That is the problem with people who are unsure. If you do not have strength in your convictions, you will never truly be happy.
I’m not here to preach or lecture or snub my nose at anyone; I am just
saying from experience, you cannot please everyone. There is only one person in this world that
you need to make sure is constantly happy, and that is yourself. The road of life is long and there will be
obstacles that make you stumble, the inevitable setbacks, and decisions you
made that you thought were right at
the time [that hindsight later proved were not], and that is okay. You are not
the same person you were yesterday, we are fluid, growing beings. But wherever you go, make sure you are happy
with yourself. You can never be happy
with anyone else if you are not happy with who you are first.
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