When A Song Changes Your Life-- Movie Review: Begin Again

There are some movies that come along just to entertain you; to bring you to a new universe for an hour or so, make you laugh, make you cry, and then move on.  Then, there are other movies that are so true to art, they touch your life in an entirely different way.  I am a huge fan of indie films, certainly ones that revolve around music.  There are the cult classics, of course, that are hugely influential, like Almost Famous or That Thing You Do, but then there are the lesser known films.  Films like Across the Universe or Once did not get much press popularity before their launch, but they now have their own following, both for their film and their amazing soundtracks. 

However, the real reason I am writing this blog is to discuss a movie that recently came out, pretty quietly, but it is definitely worth the watch.  Begin Again is an amazing indie film with an a-list cast, that you probably never heard of but you should!  Writer-Director John Carey, who also wrote ‘Once,’ was the genius behind this film.  Begin Again has something for everyone; it is a musical dramedy following a producer, a song writer, and the people who intersect their lives.  As someone who has always been into music and the industry, this movie definitely piqued my interest.  Not only did I find the storyline and actors compelling, but the soundtrack really is out of this world. 

The film is almost two hours long, but you will not notice the time pass at all.  At the end of the movie I found myself wanting more, so much so that I had to watch the movie a second time.  I felt completely entranced by the soundtrack even after the movie was over.  I turned the movie on at 11am yesterday morning, watched it twice, and have been listening to the soundtrack since I bought it [off of itunes] last night.  What I personally loved about this film so much (other than the obvious music) was how they portrayed the storylines of each character interweaving.  I also love the idea of how a song can save your life and change your course; a sentiment I know myself (and many of my friends) can strongly relate to.  It is no secret, as it has been discussed in my previous blogs, that I find some music (and books) to be transcendental.  Sometimes these things just find their way into your life at the right moment to help you through, or show you things previously unseen.  Begin Again definitely was a movie for me that went beyond the ‘entertainment factor’ and took me back to the music scene girl I loved being.

Even if the storyline doesn’t relate to you directly, it is a little hard not to be moved by the music.  With an all-star cast like Mark Ruffalo, Kiera Knightly (who is an amazing singer, by the way) and Adam Levine, this movie is a crowd pleaser.  There is music, romance, comedy; this movie has something for everyone. So if you find yourself with two hours to spare one evening, you should definitely check this movie out. If you don’t want to take my word for it right off the bat (because two hours is quite a commitment) maybe just check out the soundtrack[1], and you will be jonesing for more.  It takes a lot for a movie/soundtrack to move me, certainly if it’s about musicians, I am not easily impressed, but Begin Again left quite the impression.  Don’t just take my word for it, check it out for yourself and let me know what you think!

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[1] http://youtu.be/tKH23vQbwOw

Why You Should Walk Away From Wrecklationships

Relationships, when they are new, are always exciting.  You get to learn all about this new person, have them learn all about you; you get an automatic date to everything, you’re always entertained because you can just talk to your +1, new relationships are exciting.  As a general rule, in adulthood or even in your adolescence, being in a relationship should enhance you.  The object of your affection should be someone who adds to your life, makes you better, makes you happier; they are just the icing on the cake to your already amazing life.  What a relationship should never be, is something that makes you feel worse, turns you into someone else entirely, or tears you away from the things you love.  That, my friends, is called a Wrecklationship.

I am not passing any judgment at all; we all go through these kinds of relationships at least once in our lives.  Sure, when you’re in a new relationship, you usually fall off the face of the planet for a bit, safe and secure in your ‘love bubble,’ completely infatuated with your new boy/girlfriend.  Yet, in any healthy relationship, that need to be around each other 24/7 subsides, you come back down to planet earth and start being an active participant in your friendships. 

When you’re young and all relationships are brand new, you feel the need to hang on each other and do everything together; no one ever sees you alone, and there isn’t a moment in public where you’re not physically clinging to your insignificant other, making everyone else uncomfortable.  In your adulthood, that novelty wanes, and your better judgment steps in. I get that romance is great, and that new relationship feeling is amazing, but there is no reason why you need to make people around you uncomfortable with your PDA.  The only people that behave that way in their adulthood are people that are crazy insecure.  If you’re able to have a serious relationship, then you should be at a place in your life where you are secure enough in your relationship (and with yourself) to not need to be around your sig o[1] all the time, nor needing to physically ‘mark your territory’ by touching them constantly.  When I see this childish behavior being displayed by adult relationships, it actually makes me really uncomfortable and sad.  Not only do I get uncomfortable because they’re obviously not respecting each other’s boundaries or that of everyone else in the room, but I feel sad because they are obviously so insecure that they feel this unhealthy display of affection is positive.

Any relationship, no matter the age, that is all encompassing, prohibits you from doing what you like, impedes on your relationships with friends and family, or just generally dictates your behavior is unhealthy.  You’re a free person; you should be able to act like it.  A healthy relationship will never stifle the person you are, it will never ask you to not talk to your friends, it will never not let you have ‘alone’ time with your friends.  Those kinds of relationships are wrecklationships, and while there may be a reason you feel you need to stay with that person, in the long run, it will not be good for you. 

Think about it, would you want to spend your life with someone who doesn’t want you to have a life outside of them?  What would you have to talk about on a daily basis? Not to mention that it is just generally unhealthy to have zero interaction with anyone outside of your paramour.  I have been on both sides of the coin of losing friends due to relationships.  What I have learned with that is, 1) no one. No one should ever tell you who you can and cannot be friends with.  2) if you were really friends with the person you scorned, with enough repenting, they will come back to you.  But of course you have to do the heavy lifting with some serious groveling.

If you ever find yourself in a wrecklationship and you’re afraid to leave, DON’T BE.  Yes, they will make you feel guilty, and your graduation goggles[2] will come out in full force making you think they weren’t so bad . . . let me just stop you there; No one that cares about you, and I mean REALLY cares about you, ‘more than they care about themselves’ cares about you, would stop you from doing anything you love.  If you love singing, or dancing, or going out with your friends, heck, maybe you just love movie Sundays with your Momma, then whoever you date will love that too.  The things you love are part of you, and if someone who is claiming to love you is asking you to give all of that up for them, ‘in the name of love,’ then they don’t really love you for YOU.  They simply want you around to fill the void of insecurities in their own life. 

I am going to hit you with some hard but true advice my coworker and ‘snackshop mom’ Peggy[3] gave me back in the day: ‘you can feel more lonely with someone else than you ever could by yourself.’  It may feel like you need to be in a relationship or else you’ll be so lonely you’ll explode, but that is not true! You should wait for the right relationship, so you never need to feel alone or inadequate while being with someone.  So, dearest readers, if you ever feel that a relationship is not bringing out the best you, and not bringing the kind of positivity you need in your life, leave.  Just leave.  The decision is that simple.  And know, you will always have a supporter in this corner.  You deserve to be happy,  even if that means waiting for someone who catalyzes that  for you.

Hang in there, daters, the best is yet to come.J

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[1] ‘Sig o’: colloquialism for significant other.

[2] Graduation Goggles- Like when you’re in High School.  You hated it for 4 years, but come graduation time, you have rose colored glasses on and all the memories seem sweet and you miss them.

[3] Miss you, Peggy!! http://www.peggyfoundation.org/

Get Lost to Get Found

I had the amazing opportunity when I was in college to study abroad for a semester in Madrid.  For that four months I was able to easily hop all over Europe inexpensively and effortlessly.  But, being like any other 19 year old at the time, all the places I went to in Europe were the ‘popular’ destinations (Ireland, Italy, Paris, London..etc).  I did do my fair share of exploring and sight-seeing, experiencing each country to the fullest that I could at the time, but now, much older, my travel priorities are a lot different.

Partying, the local parades, pubs and brewery scenes are no longer something I put emphasis on.  Now when I travel I want to be able to see different things; cultures, architecture, food.  I want to experience different worlds every time I travel.  Sure, when I lived in Spain and traveled around Europe I was obsessed with architecture, appreciating it and seeking it out, but it was only if I happened to stumble upon it.  I am no longer interested in following the tourist path most traveled, I want to create my own path, see new things. 

One of my best vacations was when I went to Mexico as an adult (I had been there previously) but this time instead of doing excursions, we rented a car and drove around ourselves with just a map and a vague idea of a plan.  We managed to stumble across a local restaurant, in the middle of nowhere, that opened up to the ocean (great photo opportunity!)  We also found a sort of national park where we were able to walk around with a Mayan tour guide (who introduced us to his ‘friends’..wild crocodiles)  and climbed on rickety wooden towers in the middle of crocodile infested waters, and abandonded lighthouses in the middle of an eerily quiet beach. Yes, this probably wasn’t the safest idea (both because of Montezuma’s revenge and because we had no idea who/what was around) but it was an excellent adventure.  In my adulthood, I believe that vacations shouldn’t be escapes from your life, but they should be adventurous breaks.

My recent book obsession has been Wild, a story in which the author, Cheryl Strayed, backpacks the Pacific Crest Trail alone.  Unfortunately for me, I am not athletic enough to do that, nor do I have any inclination to spend several months walking through areas where both the wildlife and mother nature’s fickle temperature is trying to kill you; but I do like the idea.  I love the idea of taking a ‘soul journey.’ A trip in which you are alone with your thoughts, experiencing things that make you take a deeper look within yourself, questioning yourself, and helping you grow as a person.  While I do not have the luxury to be able to walk away from my life for several months (not that I would, even if I didn’t have a job  or mortgage) I am in love with traveling and think that’s something I should do more of.

I recently started my application submissions to graduate school, hoping to get accepted for the Fall semester.  The program I am applying to is extremely competitive, so I am managing realistic expectations.  However, I decided that no matter what happens, I am going to come out a winner!  If I do not get accepted in the fall, I will take a week (or so) and go traveling through the United States.  The downside of studying abroad in Europe was that I saw a lot of what other countries have to offer, and not enough of my own.  My experience with US travel is not as vast as I would like it to be; full disclosure, I think I’ve only been to 20 or so states! It actually makes me cringe that I have been to other countries’ capitals, and not my own (sorry, DC, you’re on the list!)  So if I have to save tackling grad school for another year, I might as well make the most of the free time I have before it gets trumped by school.

My plan would be to fly somewhere in the country, probably out West or Midwest, and then travel by train to several other cities.  I am thinking if I do a 9-10 day trip, I can definitely get a few landmarks/bucket list places done, or at the very least just have really interesting stories to tell.  So where do you think I should go? Fun things to see in your town, quirky villages you’ve stumbled across on your own travels, interesting places you’ve only read about in books . . . I want to hear everything! I am extremely elated by all the possibilities travel brings, and especially a trip like this.  Opportunities are endless, and your mid-late twenties seems like the perfect time to get lost to come home to yourself.