Is it possible to fear an entire generation? Yes. Yes it is.

Many generations have titles due to their accomplishments or identifying characteristics; the lost generation, beat generation, baby boomers, tech generation.  But the newest generation we are welcoming now are the ‘thanks for trying, here’s your prize’ generation.  I absolutely detest these people and the parents that raise them.  I am totally against abuse of any kind (mental and physical) let me make that very clear, but this new generation is filled with a bunch of coddled privileged ‘never been yelled at’ kids.

When I was younger, people kept score when I played sports and when we did not win we were upset! My teachers all graded my papers in big red ink, I was not hit but if my parents told me to do something I did it before I could find out what the ‘or else’ was.  The cartoons I watched were the old school Tom & Jerry, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, where blood and violence reigned; and Ren & Stimpy or Beavis and Butthead where innuendos, poor jokes and violence were incredibly prevalent.  Like any other generation, my generation has it’s ups and downs, and bad apples, but for the most part we are pretty okay (and I speak for myself and those my age I surround myself with.)  I find kids today are disrespectful, I never caused a scene with a gang of my friends on public transportation before, I have always called my friends parents Mr. and Mrs. So and So unless otherwise instructed, I never disrespected, blatantly disobeyed, and embarrassed my parents.  These are traits I find running rampant in the youth of today’s society.

What has completely corrupted the youth of this new generation is the over-abundance of coddling.  Teachers are no longer allowed to use red pen in fears that it will be ‘emotionally scarring’, even if they get a question wrong they get a sticker and a ‘thanks for trying’. What? NO! You got it wrong, go in the back and study and figure out how to do it correctly.  Now a days kids are all involved in sports when they’re young, but we don’t keep score and everyone gets ice-cream after. NO! Enough!! There are MVPs, and benchwarmers, okay? Let’s act it! There is no need for EVERYONE to get a prize just for trying in sports.  Sports are sports, it’s not ego defeating if you do not win.  I can see that rule applying for child Beauty Pageants, but that’s about it. In life, there are winners and losers and we are robbing our children of this very valuable lesson.  They are being bred into a world where everything is handed to them and no matter how miserably they fail, it’s okay because they tried.  I would be so mad if my parents let me live a lie like that.  In real life you do not get points for trying; when you apply for a job if there is someone better and more equipped, they get it; there is no ‘sub-position thanks for applying’ job lined up for you.  Basically, what we are robbing our kids of is humility. 

Empathy and humility are taught to children at an early age by things like sharing (because you can understand what it’s like to not have a toy someone else has), and when you lose or try your best and still come up short you try harder and you become compassionate towards others when they lose and you don’t.  These kinds of ‘natural’ emotions are lost on kids that are perpetually praised and coddled without doing the work.  The American Dream is to work really really hard, save, and one day hopefully it will be worth it.  That notion has fallen on deaf ears with several generations, but this generation in particular does not understand the importance of things like hard work and determination.

I really pity this new influx of children.  They will never understand all these lessons which I, up until this point, have thought to be ‘common sense’.  Please, parents, I urge you, do not let your kid be that kid.  Teach them some manners [yes, if they come into my house they need to say ‘hello’], set some ground rules, don’t be the ‘pushover parent’, and let them know while failing tasks isn’t ideal, it’s human and it happens! Let’s collectively take a stand and try to salvage this generation from being filled with Hooligans, Rufio[1]s, and ‘lost boys[2]’. 

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[1] Head hooligan in 1991 movie, Hook

[2] I am big on the Peter Pan references today

Ernest Hemingway is pretty Badass

Many moons ago I fell in love….with a writer, Ernest Hemingway.  Ernest is possibly my favorite writer of all time.  Knowing that this is a heavy statement, I will go into depth.

Ernest Hemingway is part of the ‘Lost Generation’; a group of writers, usually expatriate (which, being a huge patriot, I hate) who fled the US during/after WWI and began writing in foreign countries.  Ernest loved to write about Spain, France and other European countries, and wrote abiding by the ‘glacier theory.’  The glacier theory is a style of writing in which the author gives you 10% of the story, and your imagination can fill in the rest.  For example in The Sun Also Rises, the main character, Jake, is injured in the war; Ernest tells the readers this and hints as to the type of injury but never really goes into detail.  This is the kind of writing style I love, it only gives you enough information to get your imagination going.

Although the Lost Generation brought into light many great writers; F. Scott Fitzgerald, T.S. Elliot, Ezra Pound, it is Hemingway that has my heart.

A huge reason why Ernest is my favorite writer has to do with his alcohol addiction and, in spite of the aforementioned addiction, his sheer brilliance.  One of my favorite works of fiction by him is the following short story and the [alleged] story behind its conception.

For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn

Believe it or not, this is a complete story.  It happens to be one that I have remembered years after hearing it, and one that has moved me more than any other 6 words have.  It fits in to his glacier style of writing, because we are never really told why the baby shoes were never worn and we get to draw our own opinions.

However, it is not the fact that this may be the shortest story ever told that makes it so appealing to me, it is how the story was created.  Legend has it that Hemingway was at a bar with a writer friend who bet him a beer that Ernest could not write a story, there in that bar, under 10 words . . . obviously, Mr. Hemingway got himself a beer. 

While I do not condone addictions of any kind, everyone can appreciate that kind of genius writing.  I do not care if he won a beer or 10 dollars; Ernest Heming was one bad ay mamba jamba.  For the reason of liking to bet, and appreciating a great story (both this story and the story of it’s origin), Baby Shoes will always be my favorite ‘flash fiction’ story. 

Once Writing has become your Major vice & Greatest Pleasure, only Death can Stop it. -E.H.

It is said in school if you are good in Math and Science, you are usually weak in Art and Languages and visa versa.  That is because math and science use the critical part of our brain that is logic based while art and languages use the side of our brains that are imaginative and analytical.  Well, as my blogs can attest to, I was never good in math or science.  I can learn a language in my sleep (literally), write a brilliantly coherent 20 page paper in an evening, and analyze even the smallest detail to come up with a beautiful story; I am a lit person.

Now I cannot draw even so much as a doodle to save my life, but I, if I don’t say so myself,  am an amazing writer.  I am also a great reader; it does not matter if its my work, someone else’s, music or a movie; any form of art (yes, music, movies and literature ARE art) I read, see, or hear I like to take in and see how it applies to my life.   I am an analyst.  I feel like most things, things so mundane as a song popping on your Pandora, when listened to closely can have the most profound meanings.  I also believe that sometimes books can have the most effect on you at only the right times you choose to read them.

For example, for Christmas I received a book (which I had asked for), a cult classic, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  As every 20 something, year old living in the 90s can tell you, this book was almost as big to the world of accepting teenage angst as Catcher in the Rye was.  It was a ‘coming of age’ tale for the more modern society.  When I picked up that book 7 months ago, it took me a while to get going.  I struggled to get to page six before deeming the book ‘boring’ and banishing it back to my bookshelf and reading something else.  One thing about me, as much as I love literature, if something doesn’t captivate me, I do not waste my time; because when a book does captivate me, it is all I think about until I finishing reading it…which usually takes 2 days. 

After I finished reading another book, I was at a different place in life than I was at the beginning of the year, so I decided to give ‘Perks´ a chance.  Revisiting that book was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  I felt that I was meant to read that book at that particular junction in my life; that some Divine power or the Universe was sending me a sign that this book is now more relevant and meaningful to me in this specific moment than it could have ever been in the past. 

Yes, I am aware that it sounds CRAZY to think that I was [dare I say it? Don’t say it. Don’t say it!!! Okay. I’ll say it…] Destined to read any book at any particular moment, but it just felt right.  While there weren’t (m)any similarities between my situation and that of the protagonist, Charlie, it was still nice to know that someone else had fallen down the rabbit hole (and not the cool kind like Alice). 

Perks got a little risqué at moments, but the book, which was told from the perspective of a 15 year old high school student, was so easy to read it was almost difficult to not get encapsulated in the story.  It was like talking to a friend.  There were lines in that book that everyone can relate to, being a ‘wallflower’ at one point or another, even if just in a moment, people can relate.  The feeling of a moment in time being ‘infinite’, everything about it just seemed so real, to everyone.  While reading that book it took me to that town, that high school (even though I hated high school and rather never go through that experience again), but it took me to those moments. 

I believe a good book, regardless of subject matter, should take you to another place, it should have you so intertwined with the story that when you finish the book you are almost sad that you are losing friends.  That is what Perks of Being a Wallflower has given me.

When I found out they were making a movie about the book, I was extremely elated.  When I found out it was filled with mainstream actors and not some cheap indie film I got a little skeptical.  I did not want the purity and innocence of the book to be overshadowed by A-list celebrities and their stigmas (yes I know that makes me sound snobbish. No, I swear I am not a Hipster.) However, after seeing the trailer, I have hope for it.  Even the Harry Potter girl, Emma Watson, seemed to make a believable Sam.  While she would not have been my first choice (I pictured Sam to look a little different), I entrust that she will make the movie proud.  I understand that books and movies are usually very different and the book is almost always better (that means you, Mystic River.)  Getting to use your imagination is what makes books great, seeing movies are just one person’s interpretation of the book and that is how they sometimes fall short of the beauty of the original work of art.  But after both reading and then seeing Water for Elephants, I had hope that movies can have A-list celebrities and still stay true to the art form of the book. 

So, with that, I no longer need the cathartic effect of Perks of Being a Wallflower (although I may re-read Catcher in the Rye), but I am giddily anticipating the release of the Perks movie later this year.

Post Script----

If anyone has some good books to read, I am always open to suggestions!!

Glory Days- The Things I used to do in College. (aka- the Murtaugh List)

            Whenever my life gets a little stagnant, I like to reminisce about my ‘crazy/party days’; those 4 amazing years I spent away living at college.  Like the Boss said, “Glory Days, well they’ll pass you by” and boy am I surprised how fast those 4 years went! I have now been a college graduate for 2 years and I somehow feel like an old lady with all my ‘glory days’ long behind me. 

            In college, I used to be fearless! I would stay out late drinking with the best of them, watching movies til the wee hours of the morning, or just hanging around talking.  I would drink fully caffeinated coffee at 10pm, I would end a full day of classes by taking the train into the city for some karaoke on a weekend even if I had work the next morning in a different borough, I would pull all nighters studying and writing papers;  not a care in the world other than working and having fun.  That was my time when my biggest worry was if I would fall off the bar I was dancing on.

            Life was simpler then, boys didn’t need to have names, my love interest of the minute was constantly changing, my most fancy outfit consisted of flip-flops and an off the shoulder tee-shirt. Meals were always easily accessible, schoolwork always got done and I always managed to go to everything I wanted, have fun and still maintain a 3.5 GPA. 

            However, like everything else, all good things must come to an end.  So in my old age I compiled a list of things I am ‘too old’ to do; things that may have flown in college but are not acceptable now, and just things that I need to let go of. 

1- No jager bombs. No jager of any kind.

2- Lets limit shots to special occasions and 1 a night[1]

3- Stop dancing on bars. It doesn’t look attractive and you might need to invest in some dancing lessons

4- Stop dancing on bars in shoes that can break your ankle

5- Stop giving your brothers number out to people. It’s only funny for so long[2].

6-Stop using Fake Names[3] whilst introducing yourself to bar randos.  Stop meeting bar randos all together.

7-Abreevs are only cool in the 90s and for tweeny boppers.  Don’t be lazy.

8-Stop chewing gum and texting while people are talking.  Rude much?

9-You can have a vice, put down the facebook mobile and keep your cynicism to Blogging..maybe even twitter.

10-Drinking Rum and OJ alone in your room on a Tuesday night is just sad.

11-Don’t ever challenge your dad to a drinking contest. The great Jameson battle of 08 should have taught you your lesson by now.

12-If you have to chase someone for that long, they aren’t worth it.

13-Never stop fighting for what you can’t live without and what you really believe in. 

14-Know the difference between wants and needs

15- This never gets old…"Cheers to those that wish me well and all the rest could go to hell”

16-This is more of a question.  Will you EVER be too old to keep living in quotes and finding inspiration from everything?

And lastly,

17-You are only as old as you feel.  While you probably should stop doing all of these things, [you aren’t in college any more, lady!], there is always an exception to break rules..so. Live it up. Life is too short. 

Maybe we should revisit this list when I turn 25.

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[1] Good luck following that one.  Especially with my friend and local rockstar Eric and his whiskey obsession.

[2] It’s totally still funny. He’s a good sport.

[3] Although the literary references were pretty funny.  And sad not many people got them.  Hello, Nancy

Drew!! Does that SOUND like a real name to you?

Conversation with God.......sort of.

I heard a quote (or was it more of an excerpt?) recently that really got me thinking.  It goes like this: “While talking to God I asked ‘how much time do I have to live?’ and He said ‘Enough to make a difference.’”  

            This to me has more power in a short little passage than anything I have ever read.  It is so true; we never know how much time we have in this world, we all like to think it is a lot, but we are never certain, so why not make the most of every second.  It sounds so cliche, but as we are only put on this earth for an indefinite amount of time, we should use it to be happy and spread happiness. 

            Now, this is not some big religious statement (the quote can be for any god you believe in), nor is it some lecture.  I am one of the biggest ‘plan for later’ ‘work as hard as you can now so you can retire happy’ kind of people, I am constantly planning for the future; but after reading this quote it makes me feel rather selfish.  I shouldn’t be looking at ways to make my life easier in the upcoming years, I should be looking at ways to make an impact on the world.  I have always had a struggle with this.  I want to leave a mark on this world in some way.  Maybe not the whole world, maybe just make a difference in the world of one person, but I need to make a difference nonetheless.  That is my quest in life, and this quote really brought it home. 

            No matter how long we are put on this earth, we are all here with one purpose; to make a difference.  That statement probably seems trivial and you may think it is harder than just that, but it isn’t.  Making a difference can be helping an old lady with her groceries or shopping from a local store and giving back to your community.  There are so many ways we can make a small yet profound impact on the world, if only we try.

            This is my vow to start doing more now; volunteer more, recycle more, help those in need.  I like to think that even my blogging (most of which are just silly little articles of nonsense) has the opportunity to make a difference. So this is my inspirational epiphany for the morning, go out there and make the world better than you found it.

Fairytales are made for storybooks- Confessions of a 21st Century Cynic

Have you ever seen the show Once Upon a Time?  The premise of the show is that our favorite fairytale characters are thrown into a world where they get no happy endings; our world.  They are forced to live out their lives around their princesses and princes yet never know their fairy book romance or get the happy end to their underdog story.

This got me thinking, that theory is a lot what people who believe in ‘true love’ follow.  I mean, I have a snarky cynic shell, but my jury is still out on the idea of soul mates, true love, and having one person be everything…forever.  That thought really brings around more questions and angst than it does a comforting notion that I will have a lifelong love.  For instance, what if you do not find your ‘one person’? What if you find them and then something happens and they die or leave your life, or what if they don’t want you? What if you guys grow a part and in different directions as you get older? Does that mean that they weren’t the right one for you? Also, does ‘the one’ mean that they are the ONLY person for you at any particular moment, or that there is only one person in the whole wide world for you; and if you don’t find them, well then tough noogies buy yourself a bakers dozen of cats and call your lovelife quits.

What about all those people that meet their spouse in High School (yeah, Corey and Topanga[1] I am talking to you!)  Those kinds of people absolutely astonish and amaze me, I feel like they deserve a metal.  How can two people be together for so long and not 1) grow tired of each other or 2) grow apart as they get older.  It seems one in a million chance to have two people that are not related and did not have the same upbringing to grow in the exact same direction for their whole lives. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a love like that.  I want to have a once in a life time, fairytale romance; have someone fawn after me and look at me like the first time every day.  I just don’t know how long that novelty lasts; because, in my cynic heart of hearts, it has to be a novelty.  I wish it wasn’t, I wish I could see that kind of love up close, but I never have.  And it leads me to believe that it cannot exist in this kind of day and age where people do not get married until they are well into their 30s and often choose their careers over everything else.  I’ll be the first to admit it, my ‘free time’ consists of my 2 hour daily commute or my weekends when I try to cram 5 days of chores and family obligations into 2.  For the busy bee such as myself, where will you find ‘true love’? No, you do not find true love, you find love based on convenience and whoever will put up with your workaholic tendencies and stress related chronic crankiness.  So does this mean anyone who has the audacity to be career oriented does not deserve a fairy tale romance? Why are all these princesses just hanging around their house until their Prince finds them? I don’t do house chores, don’t need saving, and do NOT have woodland animals creepishly infesting my house.  So does that mean I do not meet the criteria and thus have no hope in finding a once in a life time love?

For that reason I tend to dislike the standard fairy tales.  I like the Brothers Grimm versions of ‘Scary Tales’ but that is neither here nor there on this particular topic.  As far as love stories are concerned, I like to idolize things like The Notebook because it shows the dysfunctional side of true romance.  That’s what I feel like is the modern day capability of love; people fighting, arguing, and wanting to kill each other 90% of the time but that just shows their passionate side for each other.  I like the idea of being so invested and in love with someone that you rather fight with them than be happy with anyone else.  While that may in fact make me a masochist, I think it is a sweet idea.  I would like to find that idea of love.  But again it leaves me at the same point, where do you find these people?  I do not believe in serendipity because I feel way too many people (myself included) spend more time questioning life rather than living it. With that in mind, would anyone recognize and act on a serendipitous moment if it does indeed present itself? The answer is no, probably not.  And you know the chances of a quality love story starting with ‘Tequila Tuesday’ at your local watering hole is not happening.  The next viable option is the internet, but I feel like the thought of internet dating reminds me of two extremes, creepy stalkers, or people too afraid to make a move in real life so they take their endeavors to the virtual world.  Both scenarios do not scream ‘passionate soul mate’ connections.

I wish I could end this blog with a profound line or an epiphany, but this is more just talking aloud wondering if anyone can shine any light on this scenario.  So if anyone knows where True Love is hiding, or possibly has a flashlight for the mystical fog that is my perception of the crock of doody of love, it would all be greatly appreciated.

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[1] Boy Meets World reference, circa the 90s