Hello again, BlogFam! Sorry for the radio silence, but I
have been hitting the town doing due diligence on the dating scene to get you
some material for great stories. What
have I come up with, you ask? Well . . . . the dating scene is still dismal, at best.
I have opened my options up from the usual bar scene and
dating websites and tried the sage advice of a matchmaker! What I discovered
there, however, is to save your pennies.
It is entirely underwhelming. I
dealt with three people within the company and while they all made it seem like
they were very interested in helping me with my search, their advice and ‘picks’
were absolutely not what we discussed. The package I purchased was for an endless membership
with several matches.
I try to keep all my interactions abiding by the baseball
rule; three strikes and you are out. Needless
to say, after I knocked down a few of the matchmaker’s attempts as well as dislike
the 3 dates I actually went on through them, we mutually gave up on each
other. They are not Masters at
Matchmaking. But, I digress, you came
here for stories, and stories I do have!
The first gentleman (that is more of an ironic statement
than an actual description) they set me up with was a man outside my age range,
nearly 20 years my senior, working in the media industry. From both his profile and his pictures I knew
this was not going to end up with a second date, let alone warrant a first one,
but for the sake of keeping an open mind, off I went. First of all, he picked the coldest day of
the year to go on a date, he also picked the day before Valentine’s Day, which
I found extremely odd. Now, I am not a
girl that particularly acknowledges that ‘holiday’, but I do think it is odd to
have a first date around that day.
Anyway, the bar he chose, despite my opposition, was roughly an hour and
a half from my house. After I FINALLY
got to the bar he chose (which was WAY too hipster/ironically pretentious for
my taste) he was EXTREMELY boring; Like, flat affect, wildly apathetic,
boring. Maybe it was just me, but after
one drink he bounced and it took me longer to commute than the date actually
lasted.
Still, onward I went on my endeavor to give people a chance
and not succumb to my fate as Crazy Dog Lady[1]. The second date they set me up with was a
lawyer, also 20 years my senior, who proceeded to state the obvious about
everything. Not only was he on jury
duty, but he was on the GRAND JURY--- and then asked me if I knew what that
meant; not to fear though, he was going to explain it to me anyway! He then
asked me what my favorite movie was; I reciprocated with asking about his
favorite book (because I am a nerd and that is what I do) and his response? ‘I
don’t read books, I read depositions. Do
you know what that means?’ FELLAS--- I
am sure y’all are as great as your mother has been telling you for years, BUT
there is never an excuse to insult a lady’s intelligence, especially if you are
trying to court her. Be a gentleman! I
mean, really, you do not need to worship the ground she walks on (although that
would be nice) but you DO need to be polite.
As a general rule of thumb, if people kept all of their
interactions polite and kind, the world would be a much better place. Remember, it is nice to be important but it is important to be nice. Anyway, after several more condescending
comments, I decided this date was an epic fail and I should cut my losses. However, of course this knucklehead had to
get one final insult in. Over the course
of the date he noticed I had a small tattoo on my wrist, covered by my
watch. As we were walking out he noticed
another small one I have on my ankle, to which he stated, ‘how can you be so
well read and plastered in tattoos?’
Now, my mother taught me not only to have an open mind, but if I had
nothing nice to say, a closed mouth.
Clearly this man’s mother did not do him the favor of instilling him
with some manners. The great kicker is
after that horrid interaction, he STILL called me for a second date.
Although I adore you, dear readers, I was not subjecting
myself to that insanity for one more second.
So I did what any other fed-up single woman would do when proposed with
an undesirable date . . . told him I had to wash my hair that night. Sure, that was admittedly pretty mean, but I
am only as kind as the people I interact with.
But let this be a
lesson to you all, daters, even when you think a date is bombing miserably, you
never know what the other person is thinking.
I could not imagine how anyone would want to go on a second date after
an interaction like that. I mean, how
can someone be so condescending and insulting if they were actually interested
in the other person, right? Clearly that
was incorrect information. Some people
are just wired differently. You do not
need to accept everyone and keep them around, especially if they are toxic to
you, but you should know that it is not always you; some people are just crazy.
Well, I know I promised you THREE awful matchmaking dating
stories, dear readers, but you will just have to wait until next time for the
last story. Don’t worry, I promise you,
that one takes the cake. J
Later daters, and welcome back to my crazy dating life.
