Home is Where you Make It

Today I took the same walk to work that I have been taking for the past 6 months.  Every day I pass a golden lab in a loading dock (with his owner of course) and today I noticed two things about him that I have never noticed before.  The first revelation was that there is not just one golden lab, there are two of them! As if that was not shocking new information enough, there was another; the aforementioned golden labs, albeit sweet and cuddly, are in fact bomb sniffing dogs ‘working’ at the loading dock.

While this probably should have made me a little uneasy, as my office is across the street, it made me extremely proud.  I am a New Yorker, through and through.  My city has had some travesties and taken some hits over the years, but we have character, charisma, spunk, and a drive that says ‘no matter how hard you hit us, we will get up, dust ourselves off and hit harder.’ I know as a nation we have completely changed our demeanor and outlook in a post-terrorism world, but it gives me pride to be part of a city that is so strong and [in a sense] badass. We do not let anything stop our city; because, as we all know, everything changes in a New York Minute.

When I say I have pride for my city, I do not mean I am just happy to live here.  What I mean is, I tell people I am American when they ask my nationality and I fight with people from other states about what football team is the best.  It doesn’t matter where I go in my life, I will always be a New Yorker. A lot of personal characteristics I posses, that I think are rather common sense, are 99% of my upbringing but also because of my surroundings.  New Yorkers are tough; we are resilient, quick on our feet, and always willing to fight for what is ours and what is right. I do not think I would be the same person I am today if I was raised in any other city this Great Nation has to offer.  Being 100% honest, I do not think my parent’s would be the same people either.  As New Yorkers we are not like other states, we are very fast paced and impatient in life, as a whole.  But being part of the 5 boroughs really puts us in a league of our own.  We are impatient and driven to the max; and that is something that I love about myself and my fellow compatriots.    I bleed red, white and blue, and I bleed this city.  Passing the Freedom Towers every day on my commute home, and the Brooklyn Bridge, makes me really happy, gives me a sense of belonging, and reminds me that if we can get through the monstrosity of 2001 [and B. Spears can get through 2009] I can handle anything life throws at me.  

We are America Strong, and I, am a proud New Yorker.

Make life daring

Several weeks ago I had a very ‘Good Friday’ (the pun is that it was on Good Friday) and decided to go skydiving.  This decision was something I always wanted to do but never thought would actually happen, as I am not the fondest of heights.  However, with some coercion from one of my friends and a nice deal from Google offers, I decided to take the plunge and find a plane to jump out of.

First, they make you sign the most horrifying waiver I have ever seen in my life; pretty much giving away any right you have to sue after your impending death.  Then this ‘video’ they make you watch is pretty much the same thing as the waiver, saying all the horrible things that may happen but also telling you that when they fit you for your harness you may be touched inappropriately.  But don’t worry, it’s all protocol.   While this may be a deterrent to you [I totally froze while signing the waiver] I felt I didn’t drive 2 hours to Pennsylvania for nothing so I continued on.  You meet your instructor, who will be buckled to you for your first jump, and of course in true fashion, I get the kooky one.

They get you suited up in the harness and take you up in this little dinky aluminum plane.  I was the third person to jump which scared me because I knew if I saw anyone else, I would freeze and not want to go.  So up we go in the plane and look down at all the little people driving their little cars out of their little houses.  The farther up we go, naturally, the more nervous I get; we go up and up and the houses look smaller and smaller until all I can see are clouds.  It is there, at 17,000 feet, that they open the rickety door of the plane and proceed to jump out.  First off goes the videographer, then a woman, then her boyfriend, and then it is my turn.  As we slide down the bench and stand at the edge of the plane I start to have a change of heart…instead of getting ready to push off the plane and jump, I start pushing backwards and telling my instructor I no longer want to go.  My instructor, being the kind, understanding person he was, tells me it is ‘okay’ and then proceeds to jump out of the plane anyway, with me attached. 

Horrified, I closed my eyes for a brief second as we freefell for 60 seconds.  Knowing I spent good money and this is a once in a lifetime experience, I pried open my eyes and really experienced the fall.  That had to be the longest 60 seconds of my life.  We fell through clouds, which tasted like chemicals by the way, and fell for what seemed like forever, overlooking all of Pennsylvania in it’s glory.  Once the parachute was pulled, and I stopped freaking out from the shock of the jerk, we got to hover in the sky for about 7 minutes.  It was so quiet up there and everything looked so tiny and irrelevant, it really got you thinking how small the world really is, and how insignificant our daily routines really are.  From up in the air I could see the earth was really round (seriously), and it just made me think that this was probably one of the most life affirming things I have ever done, and it was certainly the biggest thing I have done in a long time.

It’s funny, jumping out of a plane at 17k feet can really get you thinking.  Instead of thinking about how scary what I was doing was or how horribly wrong this could go, I was thinking about how I need to take more risks in life.  Life should be truly lived.  We get so stuck in our daily routine; wake up, shower, get dressed, go to work, work, come home, go to sleep.  Every day, like clockwork, at least that is how my life is.  So to do something so out of the ordinary and so out of character was really, peaceful.  I was proud; I stepped deep out of my comfort zone and got to do something amazing [albeit simple] that I can tell my children and grandchildren, and anyone willing to listen, for years to come.  You do not need to shatter the world to have a great story, but you should try to have a great story at least once in a while.  And that is the reason I had a very good Friday. 

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Whoever said the aforementioned quote clearly did not live in the Twenty First Century.  There is a lot to fear now a days, ignoring all diseases/cancers/accidents that have plagued man since the beginning of time, there are new dangers.  For the past 12 (okay, 11.5) years Americans have been living in a post terrorism era.  This is an era I have known from my teenage years until present, and which has shaped me more than I really was aware of.

I am one of those people that are very nostalgic and hypersensitive to the attacks on September 11^th.  I can tell you exactly where I was, where my family was, what I was wearing, what happened in the week that followed; I remember everything about that day.  While I remember carefree life before 9/11, I know that tragedy has influenced me more than I cared to believe.

While watching the news footage of the attacks at the Boston Marathon yesterday, I immediately started recalling the news 12 years ago.  I started shaking and wondering how on earth I could get home while avoiding mass transit (pretty impossible, by the way).  I received several text messages from close friends and exboyfriends who were concerned with my level of neurosis on the matter. That’s really when it dawned on me; despite being an adolescent at the time of the attack, not being in the city at the time, but having a perfect view of it from my bedroom window, and having the ash on my car, I have suffered and have some sort of [while self-diagnosed and probably minor] PTSD to such tragedy.  Even today, while I was getting ready for work, I was standing in my bathroom starring myself in the mirror wondering how ridiculous it would be to call out of work.

The NYPD is doing a great job of showing a strong police presence, and ensuring our streets are safer, even though there is no threat.  However, I still feel uneasy.  It is not that I do not trust them, because I know Ray Kelly has the finest and bravest out there on patrol today and every day, it is just that I fear what is uncertain.  You see, there is a lot to fear, and at the end of the day it is always the same thing.  We fear what we do not know will happen.  I know my city is safe, and no matter what we are strong, we will band together and carry through just as we always have, just as Boston is doing now.  Yet it is still the ‘what if’ that puts a chill down my spine, raises all my hairs, and scares me so much I second guess all my routine and daily choices (ie-going to work, taking the subway or bus, going out for lunch, etc). 

The thing with fear is, it’s natural.  It is okay to be afraid of the unknown, the uncertain, the endless possibilities good and bad that can infringe themselves upon you and uproot your life at any given moment.  Life in general is scary.  Fear does not make you weak, it makes you human, keeps you humble and grounded.  However it is letting fear stop you, paralyze you; change your life that is the real cowardice act.  There is a lot to fear in the world, but we  need to band together and trudge on; keep moving forward, pick up the wounded and battered hearts and fight back.  New York learned that lesson many years ago and unfortunately, now it is Boston’s turn.  The people of America are resilient, we know pain and we know we are greater than any coward terror that tries to get one over on us while we are seemingly preoccupied.  We are better than this.  Better days are ahead.

Crescent City- an ode to my new favorite band. Dirty Bourbon River Show

Over the weekend, I was lucky enough to see a New Orleans jazz/funk/ska/circus/rock band play twice.  The Dirty Bourbon River Show is one of the best bands I have seen in a very long time.  They are lively, full of energy and genuine love for what they do, they have a theme and stick to it [which speaks to my persona and I appreciate it]. As musicians [certainly not starving artists] they just have so much fun with the music and each gig and that really relates to the audience.

Noah, Dane, Jimmy, Matt and Charlie are each very talented and bring their talents together in a fun and whimsical way.  The band play numerous brass and unique instruments as well as the standard electric instruments.  Their circus theme and funky song titles and lyrics speak true to their home city, New Orleans Louisiana.  The brass, funk, circus inspired music is something unique to Dirty Bourbon River Show but can be traced back to New Orleans as a carefree party feel.  Each song is so different from the next both in vocals and instruments, there are opera hooks, light pyrotechnics, and impromptu instrumental drum solos that makes the audience keep guessing in wonder as to what will come next. 

This band makes me miss the city of New Orleans, as I have not been there in nearly 10 years.  However my weekend spent at 2 of their stops on their nation wide tour made me really appreciate their city, their music, and what it means to be a traveling musician.  These men have been on the road for several months with no end in site couch surfing just to pursue their love for music and share their talent with the world.  They are not looking for fame and fortune; they are just showcasing their homegrown talent with the rest of the country.  This is true love for the art.  They are away from their families and former lives all for the sake of music and doing what you love.  I can absolutely respect that, and they definitely evoked more emotions than I’m sure originally anticipated.  Their sets made me miss NoLa, book my formerly tentative trip, and make me really question why anyone should focus on money for a living.  We really should focus on what we love, and have money be a secondary issue.  These 5 friends travel the country with nothing more than what they can pack in their van and haul to the next city, and they have more memories, fun, stories and life experiences than many of us can ever have in a lifetime. 

If you have not already done so, go to dirtybourbonrivershow.com and check out their upcoming tour dates and check them out.  They are really something else.