Writers, Can’t live with ‘em, Can’t live without ‘em.

There is a constant fear when you know a writer; the fear that everything you do or say will later turn into a story.  The fear that any embarrassing move you make will be plastered around pages for people to see.  Your soul will be bare and you will be out there, in the public eye, naked and vulnerable.  If you think this is an over exaggeration, you have no concept of the internet or how what you say in a public forum resonates in the world forever.  Overly dramatic, you say? Well, this might be a small little blog, but it certainly gets a lot of traction; not just in the United States, but all around the world.  I may not have many ‘followers’ who subscribe (ie-other bloggers) but I do have a lot of dedicated readers…as my stats tell me.

My day job may be the farthest thing from writing as possible, but that’s because it is my hobby, my passion, something I love.  I want my work to be pure and fun and be my voice.  Writing is my outlet, but still, I am a writer. I repeat, I am a writer.  While this may just seem like an arbitrary statement, it actually has a lot more to do with my character than my profession.  Writers are Blessed with both a gift and a curse.  We are analytical creatures; which means we will tear apart everything you say five ways to Sunday, until we find an underlying gem in what you indirectly said.  Yes, this seems a little crazy, but that’s what writers do, we can’t help it.  On the other hand, everything we say is carefully thought out, eloquent, precise and well planned.  That attribute alone can be a powerful tool, as we can either build you up with beautiful speech, or say the most hurtful insults that will not sting right away, but eat at you for days to come.

These are the liabilities with being friends with a writer.  I have been told I have an acid tongue, stringing the most eloquent lines together to purposely push the buttons of whoever scorned me.  While some people might see that as an insult, I took it as a testament to my amazing writing and diction skills.  I have a creative brain and knack for picking obscure but poignant words.  I try to use my power for the common good, but to err is human . . . Mildly joking, I never wrongly insult anyone, but God help you if you hurt someone I care about . . .acid tongue gloves are OFF!

But I digress. While many people are afraid of having their guts spilled for the masses over pages, I seldom write about people I am close with.  Much of my life/blog are an open book as far as good bar stories, terrible dates, and random thoughts, I do not put the intimacies of my life on here.  However, if you are with me and an amazing adventure, good story or horrible dates ensue, it is fair game.  You have been forewarned.  

I am on a 24 hour Champagne Diet

Now that the awesome Drake inspired title lured you into my blog, I will get into it.  With New Year’s Eve quickly approaching, I have had a lot to celebrate.  I have spent this past year doing a lot of soul searching and reflection in my own life, and as this year thankfully comes to a close, I figured I should sum it all up.

I have learned that life is a constant learning process, every day I learn something new about myself or the world.  Any time I think I have it all figured out, life throws me some kind of curve ball; good or bad.  This year I have met more amazing people and key players in my life than I have in any other year.  Someone whom I met at the beginning of the year as an enemy turns out to be one of my closest friends now; that came as a complete shock to us both!  Another person I met as a drunken acquaintance[1] turned out to be someone promising.  Life is always funny like that, when you don’t expect anything, something big comes along.

On the same side of meeting new people, I have learned that it is okay to let go of old people.  Just because you care about someone and have known them for years, does not mean that they will always be that same person.  Everyone grows up and sometimes two people do not grow in the same direction.  That is okay.  The best and most positive thing you can do is respect that friendship enough to let it die with dignity.  If someone is no longer a good friend or a positive influence in your life, it is okay to let go.  You don’t have to tolerate people’s negativity and bologna just because you love(d) them.  That is an important lesson I have learned this year; you cannot be mad at people who don’t know any better, but you don’t need to endure it.  This year I decided I will no longer accept negativity in my life.  Being happy is a choice like anything else, every day you have to choose to be happy, and I can’t do that with toxic people in my life.  So, unfortunately to them I say Bye Felicia[2].

This year has been insanely trying; life has set me up with more obstacles, tests, trials and tribulations than it ever has, and despite some slips and minor setbacks, I think I really rose to the occasion.  I have taken all these obstacles and made the best of it.  I used everything that came my way and learned from it.  Unlike 2009, I probably won’t look back on this year and say ‘it seemed hard at the time but look how much fun I had!!’ Instead I will probably say ‘holy moly was it difficult, but look how much I learned.’  This year’s quarter-life crisis set me up for an amazing come back, and I most certainly did. 

With a new zest for life, amazing new and strengthened older friendships, no negativity, and new relationships on the horizon, I look to 2014 with bright eyes and excitement.  I am positive that 2014 is going to make way for some of the best times of my life to come, because how could it not?  An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards; well after a year of being pulled backwards, I am sure I am going to be projected forward into something beautiful.  Good things in 2014, everyone!! And definitely more blogs!

Xoxo

-LC

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[1] Don’t ever go out for an all-day drink-fest and only eat a plum.

[2] Google it…you’ll thank me later.

Battle of the Sexes- Can guys and girls be ‘just friends’?

I have had this conversation a lot within the past few months or so, so I figured it was something worth addressing.  Can men and women just be friends? No tension, no awkwardness, no flirting, just a platonic friendship. 

Most men I talk to say ‘No. Men and women cannot be just friends; there is always some underlying sexual tension at the base of the friendship.’  Well, the neighborhood I live in goes against that 100%.  A good portion of my friends are male, and the same goes for the friends of my girlfriends.   It might be because we all have worked in bars for the past 10 or so years, but to us we do not see anything weird about having male friends.  Friends are friends, no matter their gender.  At least that’s how we (my girlfriends and I) see it.  I do think, mainly in my case, that it makes a difference because my friends are older.  My friends have always been older than me; some by a few years, some by more, but with most of my friendships, there was never a feeling of anything other than friends.  If I needed them there, they were there, if I needed a talk or a drinking buddy, whether I was single or not, they were there.  However, in my [then] newly single-ness I realized that some of my ‘friends’ were not on the same page of friendness that I was.  I wouldn’t have called them my closest male friends, but I certainly didn’t see anything more than a platonic relationship there.  Yet I have found myself in an awkward one-sidedly drunken conversation where I had to politely decline a drinking date invitation by someone I thought was just a friend.

So that brings me to my next point . . . The best explanation I have gotten was ‘it has to be a two way street,' meaning both parties need to agree that there is nothing there.  Though as 500 Days of Summer will tell you, guys and girls cannot just be friends, someone will always fall for someone, whether for a minute or for a lifetime.  Well I certainly do not take that stance in this argument, but I do agree with the two way street comment; in the sense that if one person has even the slightest bit of feelings, the friendship is probably not legitimate. 

Working in a bar for the past 7 years, I have met a lot of people and formed a lot of relationships through my trade.  Maybe they aren’t the strongest friendships, maybe they are just ‘bar friends’, but I still would refer to them as ‘my friend __.’  While I am wary of girls who ONLY have guy friends [if you can’t play nice with at least 1 other girl, you’re probably a horrible person] and guys who ONLY have girl friends [what are you trying to do, start a collection of prospects?] I do think it is healthy to have a nice mix of friends, only friends, who are both men and women.