I was having a conversation with my best friend and college
roommate over the past few days and it made me realize how old I really got. When I say old, I do not mean a particular age or number, I simply mean that I
am growing up and becoming much older, mentally, than I have been in prior
years. Sure, this is part of the progression of what happens as you
get older, you become a grown up, but I feel in the past year or two my values have
drastically shifted. Yes, they will always
be the same at the core, but as an adult they have become more refined and the way I see the world has slightly changed [for the better].
For instance, vacations in my youth, along with many of my
peers, tended to be focused on partying and beaches. If
there were clear waters and a good discotecha and a coconut filled with rum punch, I
was there. However, now, I loathe those kinds of vacations. Well, okay, maybe loathe is a strong word,
but they are definitely no longer a priority.
A few years ago I went to Mexico for the umpteenth time, the first time
in my adulthood, and instead of spending the vacation on the beach, I made the
most of it. I went exploring old Mayan
ruins, I went into villages and ate at local restaurants, I drove around in a
silly, tiny, little smart car. That was my favorite trip to Mexico, I
actually got to see the country; I
got to breathe in the local life, see their history, view the city as I never
had before. At one point I was out in
the violent ocean during a rainstorm just taking pictures on a rock. That is not to say my previous vacations were not equally as amazing, I have gone snorkeling, scuba diving with barracuda, cliff jumping, and swimming with dolphins, but now in my adulthood I feel like I am more inquisitive and seeking out exploration, rather than just showing up to an excursion. Vacationing for me now, means
traveling to expand my mind; I want to learn about the place I am visiting, not
just party my way through it. I rather
go to a mountain in Tibet than go to an island in the Caribbean, and this is
just a testament to where I am at in my life.
The same mature and newly honed value can be found in the
types of paramours I am now interested in.
While a pretty face is always going to catch initial attention, I am far
more interested at what is going on underneath.
As a youth a pretty face and a funny personality would go miles with me,
now, you are more likely to catch my eye if you are discussing something
passionately. To me, it is more important you have something really beautiful
and deep on the inside than what you look like on the outside. Also, I am way less tolerant of rude, pompous
and arrogant people now than I have been in the past. Everyone is entitled to a grumpy day, but
when you are just outwardly condescending and pretentious for no reason; even if you have a reason,
it’s not okay to be rude, but certainly if your arrogance overshadows your
actual abilities, I will call you out on it.
But that is neither here nor there.
What I am most attracted to is passion. When I say passion I do not mean chemistry or
passion in the physical sense, I mean having a fiery ache for something in
life, or just life itself. I am extremely passionate about tons of things; you get me talking about my job, my family, my writing or even
what I’m reading for five minutes and you can tell I come alive and overcome
with emotion. That is what I look for in
a partner; someone who is equally passionate about some (if not most) aspects
of their life.
It took me a very long time to get where I am in life, and I
am nothing less than proud and ecstatic about it. I have the utmost confidence in myself and
the deepest understanding of who I am at my core, where I am going, and who I
want to be. All of these realizations,
albeit nothing new, rather just solidified in my adulthood, make me recognize how while the core of my values are still
the same, I am very less willing to compromise on them. Although that might make me sound stubborn, that
is far from the case. I am well aware
that life is about compromise, especially when there are other people involved, but
essentially my deal breakers are non-negotiable. I am a free spirit with an affinity for life,
and the people I have in my corner are the same. These are the people that are the adventurers, the
dreamers, those that lust after life’s biggest secrets and go out in search of
them. I want to look back on my life in my old age and know that I experienced
everything the world had to offer; every exotic dish, every hidden gem a city
is hiding, every historic ruin down the dusty back roads of a foreign country, I want to experience it all. So while I am no doubt getting
older and growing up, I am a more determined, curious and confident self.
For this reason this summer, my Summer of Yes[1],
has been amazing. Every week I am
trying new things, going on new adventures, and growing as a person. From now until next week I have plans on the
docket such as dinner at a fancy restaurant in NYC, a ghost tour, a
bachelorette party, lunch at a fancy restaurant in NYC, a graffiti tour, a
vacation filled with tours and stops and local hotspots; my list is ever
growing with new and exciting venues to visit.
In my ‘old age’[2]
I am realizing that all I want to do is expand my horizons. I want to breathe in deep at the top of a
mountain, I want to read every book I can get my hands on, I want to run every
5k, sing along in every piano bar, heck, I might even try karaoke once or
twice! Life is meant to be lived, every
moment, so say yes to all the plans that come your way, and say goodbye
to anyone who does not want to be right there with you.
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