It’s that time of year again, yet another PSA on dating
protocols! I know, I know, you’re very excited.
Well for the men I seem to find myself on dates with, and all the rest
of you love lost daters, I am going to hit you with some truth. It does not matter how rare or special or
great you THINK you are, no one is going to wait around for you.
It is an unfortunate truth that we are in the era of
internet dating, countless ‘selfies’ and attention mongers, so there are
endless opportunities. Sure, they may
not be the most fruitful dating opportunities, but we, as a society, are
constantly flooded with internet compliments (comments of praise, ‘likes’,
pokes, etc) that we begin to feel we are more special than we are. The truth is, while the grass is greener
where you water it, people will always feel the grass is greener on the other
side, and everyone is easily replaceable.
That being a truth, the whole ‘waiting game’ of dating is a thing of the
past.
If someone gives you their number (regardless of the gender)
it is because they want you to reach out and ask them out. That is not to say you need to text them
before they even walk out of your sight, but you do not need to wait several
days before reaching out. Furthermore,
there is a statute of limitations on contact.
I met someone over the summer, gave them my number, chatted for a little
but nothing ever came of it. Flash-forward
several months later and he
reaches out. Now, you know it was well
passed the statute of limitations, because upon receiving the text I had no
idea who ‘X name Y Bar’ was in my phone.
Even after texting back and forth for several messages I was getting a vague idea of who he was, I thought I
knew, but I wasn’t 100% sure. That means
you waited way too long to reach out and are not only irrelevant, but look
desperate as well. Unfortunately this is
relatively common, as I had someone text me this past summer that I met LAST
summer. I’m sorry, what were you doing
for an entire year?! Luckily I was not interested at all, but I don’t even want
to be bothered with your nonsense.
The flip side of this coin is that not only do you need to initiate
contact quickly, but you do need to act swiftly as well. If you do not ask someone on a date right
away you get stuck in that conversation limbo.
Yes, it is plausible that people get busy with life and it takes you a
while to find a mutually convenient time in your schedules to meet, but if you
are not trying then you are in danger of going into the friend zone. I have been in situations where I am talking
to someone and it’s nice, but we can never seem to get a date together, or
rather, the guy feels the need to chat all day long but never wants to make a
move. All of that is fine, I am happy to
make the first move, but when you sidestep all of my attempts to reach out and say
you’re busy, you cannot get mad (or ‘miffed’) when I am disinterested and no
longer feel the need to hang out with you.
Despite what your mother tells you, or what your facebook likes and Instagram
followers lead you to believe, you are not special. You are not special enough for someone to
wait around for you and miss all other opportunities.
I’m not saying that you are utterly ordinary, maybe deep
down when someone gets to know you, you are special; but there is no way for
someone to know that right off the bat, so there is no reason for them to wait
for you. So here is my advice, blogfam,
if you want something (or someone) take it! Right then and there, if you want
something, go for it. You never know who
is going to come along and sweep your person off their feet, so there is no
time like the present to make a move.
Even if they don’t meet someone else in the interim of your slow
movement, the worst place in the world to be is on the receiving side of
apathy. That is a very hard one to come
back from. So, onward and upwards, take
fate into your own hands and make a move! Don’t let fear of rejection
(or the potential of finding something better) keep you from action, because
that will just leave you closer to ending up old and alone…or at least bored on
a Saturday night. J
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