Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Before you say Goodbye, Hold Onto Hope.

It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to Robin Williams, who was always a favorite actor of mine.  Unfortunately he was found dead in his home yesterday after losing his battle with depression.  When people hear the news, all they can think of is ‘he committed suicide.’  No, it is not that simple.  He did not just commit suicide, that was an effect of a deeper cause; he lost his battle with depression.

Depression is an ugly monster.  It is not just a temporary feeling of sadness that one can quickly shake off; it is an all-encompassing feeling of worthlessness, sadness beyond belief, and overwhelming pain, be it physical or emotional.  Whenever it comes to victims who succumb to suicide, there are always people who are disgusted and call that person ‘selfish.’  I am sorry, but that absolutely enrages me; so much so that I felt compelled to write an article about it.

I have lost several people in my life to suicide, and never once did I think they were selfish.  Yes, I wished they stayed with us, sought help, saw how great they were like we all did, but I was never mad at them for choosing what they did.  People who suffer from depression suffer; it is an illness just like any other.  Suicide is not a choice a rational minded person makes; it is what some victims of depression feel as a compulsion.  Imagine the worst day you have ever had and multiply that by 100 and that is a glimpse of what depression is like.  Depression victims do not just get ‘sad’ or ‘down on themselves,’ they are filled with such a self-deprecating feeling of hatred that they actually think their existence is a disservice to their loved ones; that being alive brings the people they love grief and pain.  Depression can make you feel so worthless that you not only can’t see how anyone would love you, but you don’t want the people you love to be around such a horrible person.  That is how depression makes you view yourself.  To regularly think that the world would be a better place without you in it, and to feel so isolated, it is no wonder why so many people succumb to the disease. 

As a society I think we need to stop blaming people who have suicidal thoughts and try to help them.  Depression is an illness and when we are sick we take care of ourselves and have others take care of us, this is no different.  Instead of pointing the finger at victims of suicide and calling them selfish, let us get to the root of the problem and try to help them before it is too late.  All lives are precious and especially important to the people we hold dear, they should know that.  No one should ever feel so isolated and unloved, especially when they are surrounded by people that love them.  There are plenty of suicide prevention companies[1] but many victims feel they can do it on their own or that no one understands them.  I happen to think they are right in the latter thinking.  Society is so quick to turn a blind eye to the gravity of depression and when the worst arises, no one takes responsibility that it could have been prevented.  I do not think it can be prevented all the time, but it never hurts to try and be the helping hand, the friendly lifeline, the shoulder that someone might be dying to have.  So as a society let us lose the stigma of suicide and depression, and let us acknowledge it as an illness like any other and talk about the root of the problem in order to find a solution.

There is always hope.

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