Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Getting back on the bicycle

Anyone who’s been in a relationship before knows there are only two ways it can go, you either stay together forever and get married, or you break up.  Both options, while on opposing sides of the same coin, are extremely intimidating and scary; forever is a really long time even when you are absolutely certian of the person, but breakups really hurt.  For the inevitable relationships that end in break up, that poses another two options; either you break your partner’s heart or they break yours.  Regardless of who actually pulls the trigger, the end result is the same, you both end up hurt.  Sure, there is always going to be someone who is more hurt, someone who was disillusioned into thinking the end was not near, but even if it is just for a brief moment, both of you will hurt.

It is okay to be sad and wounded though.  Feel it, take it in, that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt[1] .  No one is saying that you should not mourn your past relationship, even if it was your choice to leave it.  Yet, every relationship is a learning experience.  Once you are done wallowing in the remnants of your failed relationship, pick yourself up and get ready to try again.

Breakups and being single are a rite of passage for everyone, no matter the age.  You are constantly learning things about yourself and what you want out of your relationships with others.  What I have learned from my relationships over the past 4 years is that not everyone wants to be fixed.  You cannot save everyone, especially when they do not want to save themselves.  Yes, relationships are about support and codependence [in a healthy and helpful way] but you cannot force someone to see their flaws and better themselves if they do not want to. 

I have always been a saver in life; I see people drowning in a sea of despair and I am right there in the thick of it trying to swim them to shore.  Unfortunately for me, as with most panicked people and misery loving company, that often ends up in me being the one to drown.  That is okay though, I rather be the hopeful realist than wallow in my own self-pity and the drama I created without having any self-awareness or responsibility for the situation.  My largest flaws are giving too many people the benefit of the doubt, making excuses for other people’s flaws, and not protecting myself enough.  I see the world through rose colored glasses in which I think because I can see the better in people, they will want to be that person too.

While that often leaves me temporarily heartbroken, it does not leave me discouraged overall.  Once the initial pain of the breakup and its aftermath subside, you have to pick yourself up and move on.  This is the time, I find, to be in the best place! You are surrounded by grace and endless opportunities; you get to rebuild your life the way you want and you get to change all the things that caused your last relationship to fail so you will not repeat the same mistakes.  Relationships are mainly about compromising, not changing yourself per se, but compromising enough to know how and when to choose your battles.  At the end of each relationship you are left with more information about yourself; who you are, who you want to be, the type of person you want to be with, and moreover what you can and cannot compromise on in life.

As sad as each relationship’s end is, you need to find the silver lining and lesson in the breakdown, because the truth is you will go through a lot of breakups in your life.  The deal with relationships are, they do not work out until the one that actually does [thus resulting in a ‘forever’ relationship].  Relationships, while work, should be fun.  You’re going on a journey with someone else, for an undefined amount of time, and in the process you are learning about them, yourself, what you have to offer to other people, and getting to experience new parts of life that you probably would not have done on your own.  Each person who you encounter in your life has a purpose of some sort; most are just lessons or white noise until you meet the game changer, the one who is so undeniably made for you. 

That is how I feel, anyway.  Whenever a relationship ends for me, although I do get sad, eventually, when enough time has passed, I get hopeful about being one step closer to meeting the forever prospect.  So, daters, when you find yourself thrown from that bicycle and you are sitting in a ditch all battered and bruised with your heart in your hand, just remember . . .each relationship fails until the one that doesn’t.  And since the one that does not end in breaking up is going to end in eternity, enjoy the right now! This is your time, the best time of your life, enjoy the learning experience and trust the process.  Just remember, my hopeful romantics, any time you are heartbroken, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that bicycle!



Later, Daters, Enjoy the ride.


[1] Profound quote from John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars.

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