Friday, February 21, 2014

Stay In The House, Carl

There is pretty much only one television show that I follow religiously, making sure I am home for all the new episodes, patiently waiting every week for them to air.  That show is, of course, The Walking Dead.  Being the self-proclaimed zombie aficionado that I am, I have been a faithful ‘Dead’ fan since the series’ conception.  The series always keeps me on the edge of my seat, constantly applauding the writers [both of the graphic novel and of the series].  However, there has always been one constant in the series that I strongly disliked . . . and that would be the character of Carl Grimes.

Now, I know I am going to lose a lot of people on this, especially the young teenyboppers that adore him, but it needs to be said.  I have never been a Carl fan.  Recently I re-watched the series, so I got to watch Carl grow as a person[1], and I stand by my statement.  I really really really dislike that child. 

‘How can you dislike a child?’ Well for one, he is extremely whiny.  I understand that it’s the zombie apocalypse and he is still a child, but really, it is the zombie apocalypse!  There is no time for conventional morality, social norms, love and especially not childhood innocence.  In the zombie apocalypse it is kill or be killed; you do what you have to for survival.  That being said, Carl needs to grow up fast.  Sure, that sounds harsh, I mean, after all he still has his parents around and they should be able to protect him.  But as the tale of Sophia can attest, sometimes parents just cannot watch their kids and said children should have some basic defense/survival skills.  SPOILER ALERT, Sophia had neither, so she died, and that was the day her mother grew a backbone and became the BAMF[2] she is today.

While Carl certainly has had his fair share of kills and guts [ie: killing Lori, helping Rick clear the prison when the fences caved, etc.] he has still continuously proven to be a child.  While I mainly want to focus on Season 4 of the series, we do need to give Carl some character background.  In the first few seasons it is fair to say he is a child and we should put up with his whining, because the gravity of the zombie apocalypse had yet to sink in.  Nevertheless, Carl’s naïve, careless and childish actions not only endangered himself, but they got other people killed as well.  If it was not for Carl’s carelessness around the mud pit near Hershel’s farm, Dale would not have died.  Sure, Dale was not a character favorite, he was a ‘know it all’ and an unwanted moral compass, but he did not deserve to get his innards ripped out by some mud riddled zombie.  Additionally, it can be argued that he was the cause of Otis’ death.  If he did not get enamored by a deer and consequently hit with the shotgun buckshot that pierced the deer, Shane would not have killed Otis as revenge fueled murder.  Also in this season, no one could ever find Carl.  Anyone who watches The Walking Dead knows to turn it into a drinking game, ‘where is Carl’ became the best one.   The adults would say ‘stay in the house, Carl’ when all hell was breaking lose with zombies, and then all of a sudden everyone turns around and Carl is flirting with the jaws of death somewhere!  Kid is reckless!

Sure, Carl has gone through a lot, but that should make him hard, not ridiculous.  Every time the camera pans over to him I want to get up and shake him.  For instance, in this season Carl prides himself on being an adult and being able to take care of himself . . . Let’s discuss what he did when Rick was in a coma.  He told Rick (albeit an unconscious Rick) that he killed three walkers.  Well, is that true? Sure.  Is it entirely true? No.  He did not kill those three walker[3]s heroically, he almost got himself killed several times in the process, and he threw up afterwards.  You see, Carl was smart in luring the two walkers banging on the doorstep away from his house [I won’t even get started about how they were drawn to the house because of his shouting, reckless!] but in luring them away he encountered a third walker.  This third walker was able to sneak up behind him because he was walking backwards.  Sure, anyone sneaking up behind you is alarming, but during the apocalypse in which the undead are trying to eat you alive, you probably should not be walking a mile backwards luring these two flesh eating creatures with you. 

He used too many bullets (they were supposed to be rationing shots) and was able to take down all three, only by being pinned underneath them.  His main problems here, other than walking backwards with murderous zombies in tow, he used a lot of bullets which are a scarce resource and he also made such a commotion, any nearby zombies would have been attracted to the noise.  After this ordeal, Carl then went on a supply run to a nearby house, where he encountered a zombie.  Every time Carl comes into contact with a zombie he gets flustered and childish, which is understandable.  However it is not understandable since he continuously says how he is not a child.  After a lot of close calls with this zombie, which result in him losing his shoe and almost getting his leg chewed off, he was able to lock the zombie in a room and write a snarky note on the door.  Carl, how about you write ‘Do Not Open: Dead Inside’ instead of ‘Got my shoe, didn’t get me.’  Way to go on the prose, Carl, it is obvious schooling went out the window. What infuriated me most about this scene is that he has zero hand to hand combat skill.  That is just as important as knowing how to wield a gun! You should not be completely defenseless without your weapon, and Carl is.  In the house scene he was grabbing at anything to hit this zombie with and even once he had something, he had no idea how to use it.  Michonne once killed a zombie with twine, Andrea killed a zombie with nothing but pliers while she was handcuffed to a chair; how can you have a lamp, a set of golf clubs and a bat readily available and you still cannot kill it? 

I just don’t get it.

Maybe instead of being mad Carol was teaching the children how to defend themselves with knives instead of reading them stories during story time, he should have paid attention.  Even then, he did not see the importance of what Carol was doing, instead he just ran to his dad and tattled.  That was a childish move, Carl, but that was okay.  What was not okay was the 15 minute rant he went on to unconscious, dying Rick, about how he wishes he were dead.  Then, of course, in true Carl fashion, when he believes Rick comes back as a zombie, he starts crying and breaks down.  You cannot have it both ways, Carl, either be a man or be a child.  When the going gets tough, Carl gets to being a baby.  That really annoys me.  I understand he is stuck between a rock and a hard place, having to grow up quicker than he is ready, but that still does not excuse that he is growing up to be a hooligan. 

The Walking Dead has had several villains (I’m looking at you, Shane) and anti-heroes (hey, Merle) that I have disliked or rooted for, but Carl is by far the worst.  Shane went from being a good guy to a bad guy, Michonne went from being a hard/stand-offish character to being lovable, and even Merle had redeeming qualities; this is all character growth.   Unfortunately for Carl, the only ‘growth’ his character goes through is puberty and severe teenage angst.  We get it, Carl, life is rough for you.  You know who else it is rough for? EVERYONE.  Man up, shut up and quit your bellyaching! There is no crying in the zombie apocalypse! So from now until however long it takes, I will begrudgingly sit in front of my TV every Sunday night hoping this is the night Carl gets bit. 

Sorry, I’m not really sorry.




[1] I’m going to speak as if he is real and not just a character, so be prepared.
[2] Badass Mother F. . . you get the idea.
[3] The Walking Dead's term for a zombie.

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