I Waited My Whole Life For You

There are some people you meet in this world that seem like the complete package.  They are the very personification of everything you have ever wanted in another human being; for you, they are perfect.  At least that is the romanticized view of soul mates we tell ourselves we will find whenever we start a new courtship.  The problem with this, however, is that it makes us have tunnel vision and really makes our judgment convoluted. 

Just because you want to find your counterpoint, does not mean that person exists in your world.  As cynical as that statement sounds, I do think that there is one person for everyone.  I believe that each person has a complement that is absolutely perfect for them in every way.  The kicker is, I do not think everyone finds their person; which, I feel, is a true shame and injustice in life. Whether they are not near you geographically, or maybe the timing is just off, they might not exist at the time you need them to.  Yet, I still like to tell myself that there is a person I will find, but that is something we tell ourselves to give us comfort.  Because really, the world is so gigantic and ever changing, who knows where your person may be.

However, when you do find a person, and you think they’re perfect and you love all their flaws and you see all their crazy nuances and love them anyway, how can you be sure?  What if they are perfect for you in that moment, does that mean they will be perfect forever?  I like to think I am an accepting person as a whole, but I know I have met a lot of people in my life and have not fallen in love with their flaws.  Yet when you meet that person you waited your whole life for, you do love even their worst qualities; because that is part of what makes them, them.  I think the true goal in life is to find someone who does not just put up with you, but wholly accepts, nurtures and loves you.  They will challenge you to grow, bring out the best in you, but also love you still even when you fail or stumble or throw a childish fit the Froyo place doesn't have your favorite flavor.  The person you are meant for will see all the dustiest corners of your mixed up soul and love you anyway.  That, to me, is true love.  That is what I wish to find.  Sure, they will still get impatient with you and you will fight and whatever, but at the core, they see your scars and they will not want to erase them, they want to nurture them and show you that whatever your past may be, it brought you to them.

But what if you feel that way about someone who does not feel that way about you? Does that mean they were never truly yours to begin with?  Well, lovers, my feeling on that is, they were a lesson.  They were planted into your life to show you that not all that glitters is gold, everything comes with strings and stipulations.  Just because you love someone, potentially with your whole heart, in spite of themselves does not mean that they are ready to do the same.  That is o.k.  I take the stance that it is better to experience and feel everything life has to offer . . . happiness, pain, disappointment.  These are all rites of passage.  Put yourself out there.  Get Hurt! That is part of life.  Make mistakes.  Just make sure you learn from them.

 If you think you waited your whole life for someone, let them in.  Chances are, they will hurt you; maybe a lot, maybe a little, maybe not at all, you never really know.  But each person you come into contact with teaches you something, and for that, you should be forever grateful.  Someone once told me ‘have as much fun as you can, don’t take anything personal and leave everyone better than you found them.’  I still think about that all the time.  Unfortunately, not everyone plays by the same rules, but that is what I love about love.  Love is not fair and it is not easy, it is a full time job and it takes hard work. 

Each time you encounter love or a new person, they show you more about yourself and what you want and can handle or tolerate (or not) in relationships.  Sometimes you think you find this magical unicorn that you waited your whole life to meet, and sometimes they do not feel the same way about you.  That’s okay, do not get discouraged.  When the timing is right you will find your counterpoint.  That’s the lie I tell myself anyway.  I’m just another single lady looking for a good partner for the impending zombie apocalypse.

But seriously, while I think life is far from fair, I do not believe in coincidences.  Sometimes you cross paths with people just to help you grow into a better person for the next love that comes along.  Life is a forward motion, after all.  Never regret anyone in your past, for they showed you something new about yourself.  That is, at least, how I see it.  I have met some great men in my life, and while they were not meant to stay forever, they have each opened my eyes for many different reasons.  Still, I am waiting my entire life, just to meet that right person.