“Don’t let unworthy people drag you down”

I named the title of my blog don’t let unworthy people drag you down because in a recent conversation with one of my longtime friends, he said this to me and it was like a slap of clarity.  While it makes sense that you should never let people bring you down, you certainly wouldn’t befriend people who make you feel less, sometimes that line gets a little convoluted.  Think about it; we all have that one friend that constantly makes nasty comments or is itching for an argument, and maybe we just shake it off and say ‘Oh that’s just Karen.  She’s always like that.’  Why do you keep this friend in your life? Why do we stand for this kind of behavior? Well maybe it’s because this friend has been part of your tribe for a long time, and you never considered the fact that they wouldn’t be in your life.

But if you think about it, you would never tolerate this behavior from a new friend, would you?  If the answer is ‘no,’ then you should not stand for it in your old friends either.  The way we do spring cleaning in our closets and throw out that sweater we love and had forever even though it no longer fits us right, you too are entitled to spring clean your friends.  When I say ‘spring clean your friends’ I do not mean a Facebook friend list overhaul (albeit liberating.)  What I do mean is to eliminate people from your life who no longer serve a purpose.  Sure, that sounds harsh, but your peace of mind should be your first priority. 

You do not need to apologize for outgrowing someone. You shouldn’t have to apologize for who you are, and if someone from your past cannot get on board with the new person you’re becoming (assuming you’re changing for the better) then cut your losses and move on.  You should not constantly need to defend yourself or your actions.  You are allowed to change; you are allowed to grow; you are allowed to shed your past and happily keep moving.  You do not constantly need to be the one fixing things, apologizing, making plans, reaching out. You are enough.  You do not need to lessen yourself for anyone.

The same way you are enough and you do not need to defend your own life choices, you do not need to justify anyone else’s.  If your ‘friend’ is constantly being a jerk to the point where you really don’t see any positivity in hanging out with them, well then stop hanging out with them.  You do not get any points for keeping toxic people in your life.  How many times can you say ‘oh they’re just having a bad day’ before you realize no, they’re just really a bad person.  Maybe they’re not even a bad person, maybe they just like to complain all the time and that really stresses you out.  I am a huge proponent of ridding myself of anything that does not make me happy or does not feed my soul.  If something or someone is making you miserable or just not bringing anything good into your life, you’re allowed to free yourself of it.  You are allowed to walk away from things, people, and situations.  You’re an adult (I’m assuming,) no one should ever tell you what you can or cannot do. 

So, my dear, sweet readers, please, I implore you to take a look at your life and eradicate anything and anyone that no longer suits your present lifestyle.  Like my friend Branno says, “Don’t let anyone drag you down, particularly those that are not considered worthy.”  Worthy is a completely subjective term, but it is what is worthy to you.  Think about the life you want to create, and who in your life supports and facilitates your dream life…those are your tribe.  Those people who come to mind are the people that are always going to be in your life.  People who help other people up instead of putting them down, people that nurture a loving and supportive environment (while still lending criticism and honesty,) those are the people that you should want around your life.  Never be afraid to let people go and say ‘I love you, but you are not what my life needs right now.’  Sure, it won’t be easy letting go of friends you have had for years, it isn’t easy with my favorite beat up sweaters either, maybe you will both grow in the future and your paths will cross again, but no matter what you need to do what is best for you.  Please don’t ever apologize for putting your own wellbeing and happiness first.