I have always heard of a quarter-life-crisis; from books,
media, my friends, it was not a foreign concept to me. However, I was never totally sold on the idea
. . . that is, of course, until it happened to me. Funny how that always happens, you never
think things exist or could actually happen until you get smacked in the face
with reality.
My quarter-life-crisis really just consists of a few
difficult years each bringing their own obstacles, but leading me ever closer to
where I am meant to be. It is very easy
to spiral out of control when you are overwhelmed, stressed, nothing seems to
be going your way and there is no end in sight.
I won’t lie, some days that is me, happily plunging down the rabbit hole
of self-pity, but most days I try to accept that there IS a plan and what lies
ahead is far better than what lies behind me.
So, I am just trudging through the mud and biding my time until all this
hard work pays off.
The great thing about this time, though, is that I am
learning a lot. I am working,
studying, managing my house, friends, family, daily nonsense, all by
myself. This is the longest I have been
single in my adulthood (the whole 2 years), but for the very first time, I am
completely alone. I do not live with my
significant other or my parents or even roommates. If I don’t make my bed in the morning, well I
come home to a messy bed at night. If I
don’t take something out to be defrosted in the morning, then it looks like
Seamless for dinner for me! With all
these curve balls life has thrown me in the past few years, living on my own has
actually made it easier.
When I say easy, I do not mean that it is easier to go
through everything alone, but it forces me to depend on myself. Sure, I do have bouts where I call my parents
and brother and make them cook me dinner or watch a movie with me, but 90% of
the time I am alone. I get to know myself in a way that I
previously haven’t been able to. Have
you ever lived by yourself? I mean completely alone, I can’t even keep a plant alive
let alone a pet. It is just you and your
thoughts 24/7. You get to do what you
want, when you want, and really learn about what it is you want.
Living on my own for two years now I have discovered tons of
things about myself. So much so that
when people do come into my space and start trying to take over I notice that I
really like MY way better than anyone else’s.
The great thing about this time is that I do get to learn more about the
person I am, and be strong and confident enough in her that I will never
surrender her for another person’s happiness again. I was always the ‘people pleaser’ in
relationships. I like to do nice things
for people in general, and I am a good character reader, so I would always bend
over backwards and inconvenience myself to appease others. All that led to was me losing the person I
was, being sad and lost, and the other person caring more about their own
happiness than mine. This was where my 2
year search really kicked off. I knew
that I need to be happy with me, and really figure out what I liked and wanted
out of life. I got to blast the music I
wanted to blast, read the books I wanted to read, record all the silly TV shows
I want. I am just completely enamored
with the little life I’ve built for myself. However, like with all great
things, a downfall must follow . . . I am so happy in my own solitude that I
am not openly welcoming to share that.
Sure, if you’re great then I will accept you and want you in my life,
but you are going to have to be pretty darn great to make me want to let you in
to the Fortress of Solitude.
My advice to you, ladies and gents, is that no matter how
old you are---take some time for yourself.
Even if maybe you cannot completely live on your own just yet, learn to
be happy in your own company. Because
really, you cannot love anyone else until you know who you are and love
yourself first and foremost. So bring it
on, quarter-life-crisis, as long as I have myself, I have this under control!
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