I decided to create this post to list my findings as I go along and find them. Not that I like to post two posts in one day on the same subject, but in light of new [and hilarious] events (stories) I feel it is necessary. I am going to post all new findings in a list format so it will be easily recognizable when something is new. These aren't necessarily in a number of importance or relevance, just issues that arose at the very moment.
One- DO NOT BE CREEPY. You want to be cute or playful, FINE, but by all means PLEASE for the love of God, PLEASE know when enough is enough. I just got the following message 'you look delicious and I would like to taste you :)' Now, that is freakin' WEIRD. First off, you can take it as the kinky way (vomit) but the smiley face makes it more friendly not sexual; so that leaves us with the second option CANNIBALISM. You just sound like a crazy psycho who I would never want to meet alone in fear that you will kill me, eat my muscles and wear my skin around as a house coat. Thank you, Buffalo Bill, but your message immediately goes into the 'delete. get the fuck away from me' pile on accounts of SERIOUS creepyness. We all learned at a young age, thanks to little red riding hood, not to trust strangers especially when they BLATANTLY tell you they want to eat you. I need to take a shower; my skin is crawling with 'irk'yness.
Two- Lets all take the highroad here. Rejection sucks. Always. There is no way around it. So if you need to reject someone, who is seemingly nice just not your type, then do it nicely. You wouldn't want to be demeaned and hurt, so keep that in mind when you are trying to let someone down. Easy is the way to go. Because, lets face it, you probably put enough information on your profile for them to find you and take out their disgruntled frustration on you (see above post). On the other hand, if you are rejected, again take the highroad. There is no reason to berate someone with insults and say that they're ugly or name calling or whatever. Because we all know that isn't true. You were just interested in getting in their pants and the first sign of trouble you're vicious? Lets all calm down here. It's not that serious, they're probably just a fat sad sack sitting on their couch waiting for someone to like their photoshopped photo. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself if I ever get rejected. And if someone starts telling you that you're ugly once you reject them, they're probably crying into a pint of ice-cream so don't take them seriously at all. Our egos can all make it past the internet. They probably aren't as good-looking as their 10 year old photo looks anyway.
Three- Do not write a novel. Make sure your initial email is concise, intriguing, specific enough so the person will want to speak to you again but not so specific that they will know your whole life story. If it is longer than 4 or 5 lines, it’s too much. No one wants to feel like they are reading a homework assignment when you are trying to woo them. Also, generic emails makes people feel unwanted, a notch in a belt, like they aren’t worth the 5 minutes it takes you to read their profile and come up with something clever. So, just get out there. Strike up a conversation about whatever minimal fact they have on their profile that relates to you and go with it. ‘You have red hair? I’m a ginger too! Slainte’ Just get out there and act normal. The more you try the more you will be your own repellant.
No comments:
Post a Comment