Anyone living in the five boroughs that works in Manhattan knows driving to work on
a daily basis is no reasonable feat.
So, for all us peons that can’t afford to park our Bentley in the $20 an
hour parking lot every day, we take public transportation.
There are two forms of public transportation [disclaimer:
since I do not live on nor condone Staten Island,
I am ignoring the existence of the ferry].
So, there are two forms of public transportation: the NYC subway (train)
and the bus (express of course, we are not squalors.) Now, anyone that takes
either of these forms of transportation knows that there is commuter etiquette
that everyone should oblige by in order to make everyone’s overall experience
better. The train is usually a free for
all, because there are panhandlers and every other rude annoying person, but
the bus is supposed to be for the people who will spend the $5.50 one way to
have a pleasant ride.
That being said, express busses are expensive! I only take
it in the morning because, 1-it is a shorter commute for me and 2- I like to
nap on the way in so the cushion seats are an added bonus for comfort. So, since it is about 6am and everyone is
dreading going to work (because who in their right mind wants to be up at 6am?!
Just kidding, I’m a cheerful morning person. But STILL!) why would you get on a
bus just to ruin everyone else’s morning? If you are having a bad day, put your
headphones in and go to sleep, you don’t need to drag everyone else down with
you. That means YOU, loud cell phone
talker; it is 6am, no one wants to hear what you ate for dinner! Also, if you have a thousand bags with you
and feel the need to squish into the aisle seat and put your bags all over the
person sitting next to you, just don’t.
There is an overhead compartment for that reason, and quite frankly, I
don’t care how small you think I am, I want my leg room! I paid for it and it’s
mine, so I want it.
A common misconception amongst bus goers, or commuters in
general, is how much room you actually take up.
Now, this isn’t a comment about weight as much as it is just taking up
space. I, for example, wouldn’t describe
myself as overweight, but I know I sit with my bag on my side on the train so I
may go over to the seat next to me. This
is why I sit on the end, because most train people leave the middle seat
open. On the bus there is no middle seat
buffer, so I use manners and good judgment and only sit in the space allotted
to me. However, I manage to ALWAYS get
stuck next to the person who, despite all the open seats, feels the need to
CRAM on top of me and have their thighs touch mine. It freaks me out, it’s creepy and gross and I
would prefer if you just go sit in any of the other OPEN seats! There is no
reason for you to be in my personal space when the bus didn’t even begin to
fill up yet. The flip side of this statement is that I am not only talking
about physical space, but space in general.
If you are smoking or wearing WAY too much perfume/cologne, it is best
for everyone if you sit by yourself or in the back. There is no reason why you need to poison my
lungs with your odor just in the name of fashion or nicotine.
That was my rant about the bus…On to the train rant.
I am one of those people that if I don’t fall asleep, I just
stare out in to the distance and zone out, because this is the end of my day
and I just need to unwind. The problem
with the train is that everyone is always holding the doors which makes that ‘ding
dong’ sound go off a THOUSAND BILLION TIMES which gets on my nerves so quickly
that I want to rip that persons arm off and throw it outside the train. Another thing is, you never just can have a
calm train ride, there is always something going on; people spontaneously break
dancing, singing, giving you their sob stories., it just all makes me uncomfortable. These pan handlers probably pull in more
money a day than I do, I don’t want to hear your made up story of your sick
brother’s son’s nephew’s girlfriend’s sister’s friend’s kid who needs a kidney
transplant in Mexico so please give me your money. NO. Just no.
My eyes are closed, I am listening to my ipod and I don’t want to hear
it. Don’t come up and tap me on the
shoulder or say something about God Bless or whatever. Leave me alone. I am cranky, tired, and really don’t have
time for this show. As for all the
people dancing on the train…your kickflips are going to kick me a
concussion. No I cannot move! It is rush
hour and the train is crowded to the point where we are all standing and I am
pretty sure I have someone’s elbow imprinted on my left temple because we are
standing so close. So where, oh where
exactly, would you like me to stand to get out of your dance space? That’s
right. There is nowhere! So go to the park and practice your dance moves like
everyone else.
I hope this blog goes viral and everyone gets the hint to
learn some manners, because if your mother won’t teach you any, I will! This is a call to action…don’t be that rude
commuter person everyone will talk about later.
Put your cell phone down, boom box off, leave your dancing shoes at
home, and just DON’T ask for money. We
will all thank you for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment