Murphy’s Law: Anything that could go wrong will go wrong

This is the story of my life; Murphy’s Law.  I am the perpetual Klutz McGee, which usually doesn’t bother me at all, but when I absolutely positively need something to go flawlessly . . . well, that’s when it all goes downhill.

Now, not everything needs to be a huge catastrophe; thank God, for me it’s usually just little things.  For example, my mother always used to tell me ‘make sure to look nice whenever you go out, because you never know who you will meet.’  Well this advice is obvious on a Friday/Saturday night, because getting dolled up on the weekend is my specialty, but any time I don’t head that advice, I usually regret it. 

Not getting it yet?  Okay, I will explain.

A few months ago my mother and I had tickets to go see The Nance on Broadway for a Sunday Matinee.  I got the tickets from some ‘internet deals’ kind of site, but I was really looking forward to the show since it looked great, Nathan Lane was starring in it, and I love any outing with my momma (she’s the best!).  So I kept in mind that I had to leave my house in the late morning to be ready for the show, but I went out Saturday night anyway.  My partner in crime and I went into the City, bar hopped then ended up back in my town and bar hopped some more.  Now Sunday morning comes, and I do not know how exactly it had happened, but I woke up with a hangover.  That being the case, obviously I was moving in slow motion that morning and figured since I had washed my hair before I went out last night, I can just pin my bangs back and not wash it again, being as that tacks on another 20 minutes (wash & dry time) to my shower routine.  So I clean up (minus my hair), throw some minimal makeup on, my favorite shirt and leggings and head out to meet my mother.  Now, little known fact about me; my hair is long but I absolutely despise putting my hair back.  I have had bangs for the past, I don’t know, 10 years, and it is for a reason.  I am not a fan of my hair pulled back, I think I look weird.  But it was a Sunday, and a play, and despite being a few blocks from my office, who was I going to see?

Sure enough, I am GAWKING at this man in the audience who is sitting near us.  He was so handsome and looked extremely familiar but I could not place why.  Intermission comes and goes and I figure it out!!

Jonathan Tucker[1]!

My ex-boyfriend and I had just re-watched the entire (and sadly short lived) series of The Black Donnelly’s, which starred Mr. Tucker, so his face was fresh on my mind. Once I figure it out I alert my mother (and brother via text) and our family meeting consensus was that I should go and say something.  Despite looking like a total banshee, towards the end of the play I walked up and said

‘You’re Jonathan Tucker, right?  I am a fan of your work.’

 Exchanged a few pleasantries and walked away.  See, the thing here, ladies, is to act cool even when you do not feel confident.  The main point is also sometimes saying less makes way more of a statement than talking someone’s head off does. 

It turns out Jonathan used to work with one of my friend’s brothers, and still kept in contact.  Well due to some diligent twitter research on his end, he made the connection and told my friend’s brother what an impression I made on him.  Unfortunately for me he is married, but it was still a pretty awesome run in! Now obviously with his marital status my looks made no difference, but I like to think had I heeded my mother’s advice and dolled up before going out, I could’ve bagged myself a single actor.  But then again, I’m sure some side swept bangs and a little blush isn’t going to make much of a difference, what you see is pretty much what you get, here. J

In a shorter, yet on topic story, I once met Gerard Butler one St Patrick’s day after I marched in the parade and probably drank my own weight in cider.  While I looked adorable when I left my house, the drunken end result probably looked a little lack luster.

That wasn’t even a bad story.  My problem is whenever I just roll out of my house thinking I’m not going to see anyone is when I see EVERYONE.  I went to the beach on Independence Day[2], and not like I would wear makeup to the beach, but people do not usually see me without eyeliner on and with my hair up.  Not that I am vapid or anything, and not that I am particularly horrifying without makeup (because I am not), but I just never have small tired eyes and a pony tail.  Anyway, this is how I showed up to the beach on that particular day; tired eyes, pony tail, and a sequin American Flag headband.  I baked on the beach for hours, getting covered in salt water, sunscreen, sweat and probably some sangria.  As I was departing my glorious, and private, beach community I noticed someone who did not belong . . . some hoe that hates my very existence.  Despite not knowing her too well in person, and having no personal problems with her, she certainly has said a lot of awful things about me; which is fine, as we all know, girls are b*s! But she had a sock bun[3] and sunglasses (I don’t need that kind of tan line) and just looked put together, despite wearing a tee-shirt to the beach [really never a good look when you’re sunbathing in a tee].   Of course every girl wants to look like a million bucks when they see someone who hates their guts (albeit unwarranted) but it was disappointing that I just looked . . . well, average.  Sure, I was kissed by the sun and looked like a bronze goddess, but I also looked like I needed a nap and some sunglasses, which were so conveniently missing.

The point is, narcissistic or not, you should always try to look nice whenever you leave the house.  You never know who you are going to see, and fate has a silly and cruel way of having people sneak into your life!

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[1] Amazingly adorable actor.  http://www.imdb.com/find?q=Jonathan+Tucker&s=all

[2] That’s right, INDEPENDENCE DAY, none of this ‘4^th of July’ bologna.  I am AMERICAN, and I am going to proudly celebrate my nation’s conception!!

[3] http://hellogiggles.com/diy-sock-bun

Soul Surfers

In Plato’s symposium, he states that

‘according to Greek mythology humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs & a head with two faces.  Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.’ 

This is one notion of soul mates.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines soul mates as:

1 a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.

2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs <ideological soul mates>

This notion is not as poetically beautiful and heartbreakingly romantic [i.e. star-crossed lovers] as Plato’s definition, but it does explain the word none the less.  My problem with the idea of soul mates is that it is just that, an idea.  To me, it poses more questions than it answers; and that probably speaks to my character of a skeptic.  Many people, myself included [hence my perplexity], believe that soul mates and love at first sight are interchangeable notions of love.

Here is where my confusion begins.  I personally believe the idea is that even though someone is your soul mate, you may not know it right when you look at them.  I mean, isn’t the whole idea of ‘love at first sight’ rather vapid and shallow seeming? You are falling for a person entirely based on their looks under the quasi guise of ‘the universe pulled us together.’  I doubt it.

I am all for the universe and a higher being putting me where I need to be, don’t get me wrong, but the fact that you can just look at a person and know in your heart of hearts that they were put on this earth as your counterpart? Well, I don’t know; that just seems unrealistic.  But again, I did warn you I was a skeptic.  It is a very sweet idea, nevertheless I just feel like if you do have a soul mate, you only know it after really getting to know them.  Call me old fashioned, but I do not meet someone and know in the first five minutes if I want to be around them forever.  I need to ease into things.  Nevertheless, if we have several dates and conversations and there are cosmic connections and we seem to be two peas in a pod, then okay! Soul mates it is!

Now here is the scary part.

In Plato’s story, it seems that every person only gets one soul mate, one counterpart; That is what makes their love special, right?  Well, who is to say that you and this alleged one perfect mate are on the same continent let alone same state? Wouldn’t that be the universe’s cruelest joke to have this perfect partner for you yet you will never have a chance to know them?  But I guess that is why there are non-believers out there. 

So, most of us settle.  We do not believe in soul mates and perfect relationships because we are realists.  Does that mean you give up on true love?

What if you find your soul mate and they are suddenly taken away from you? Or what if you find them and you grow apart or no longer fit down the road? Does this mean they were never the real soul mate for you, that your connection was possibly a fluke? This is why ‘soul mates’, ‘true love’ and ‘fairy tale romances’ make me nervous; there are so many ways they can be broken in the real world.  Such a comforting notion knowing that you are not alone in the world and there is someone out there who loves you more than anyone ever can, they just haven’t met you yet, scares me.  It brings about more fears than consolation, and quite frankly I am unsure I understand the entire concept. 

Granted, I am probably analyzing and divulging into it more deeply than the great Plato did himself; but what is the point of learning something if you cannot pick it apart and come to your own conclusion?

Where does one go to find their soul mate, because I am sure they are not lurking around the local watering hole.  Or maybe they are, and that is why they are special to the person who finds them there.  I hear all my friends talk about speed dating and internet dating and meeting people in bars and everyone has their fair share of interesting [horror] stories, as my blog certainly can attest, but no prince charming coming out of the rubble.  Is it possible that our soul mates have already jumped ship in looking for us and have settled onto the first love that didn’t end with them drinking poison[1]?

 All these questions spinning through my head around the subject makes me both exhausted and disheartened for ever finding my ‘other half.’  You see, as much as I do wish soul mates existed, never in the definitions (at least from dictionaries) does it say it needs to be on a romantic level.  I mean, if a soul mate is just someone who you love spending time with and has the same beliefs/ideologies/temperament as you do, well then my close friends are my soul mates.  With that conception, albeit sweet, I reaffirm myself that I am going to be single forever with 40 dogs; I could never be a cat lady.

So, my darling romantically hopeful readers, what are your thoughts? Where do you fall on the plight of the soul mate?  I need some optimism to give my dog-filled[2] future some hope.

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[1] Not being morbid, goes along with the aforementioned ‘star-crossed lovers’ Romeo and Juliet theme.

[2] I love dogs, but having 40 dogs with people names, ‘want to see my son Bill? ::Great Dane::’,  is just a little sad.

As T. Payne would say . . .'I like the bartender.'

For a good portion of my youth, and now as the occasional hobby, I was a bartender.  Bartending and waitressing is how I came into my personality, and really broke out of my shy childhood shell.  To be a successful bartender or waitress, you need to be very personable, friendly and make people comfortable.  You want them to stay and spend money but more importantly you want to build a report with them so they will come back; especially if you have a weekly shift.

I am very good at striking up conversations with people and knowing what to say in any particular situation; I have the Gift of Gab (or as I like to tell people...I am the Gift of Gab).  I am eloquent and love a good party, so for me, bartending always came naturally.  It is a fun job to bring in some extra income and it is a good way to socialize.  I started bartending 7 years ago, and I have met a lot of different characters.  I mean, some of the things I’ve seen/heard/experienced and witnessed can make for one heck of a book; but, I will keep that in my life story and simply summarize and shorten to fit this blog.

To be clear, a bartender’s job is to be really really friendly.  That means mainly they get paid to be a flirt.  So, fella, ladies, whoever, nine times out of 10, the bartender does not really have a thing for you.  If you want to take the chance and give them your number, that’s one thing, but don’t ask for theirs; it’s just embarrassing.  If you want to see them again, well, you are at their bar, make another stop next week and figure it out.  Also, don’t get all jealous and make comments about them talking to other patrons, everyone’s money is green, you aren’t special.  That isn’t to say that they weren’t really interested in you, a good eye candy and fun patron to play with makes the night more interesting and go by quickly, but don’t be so presumptuous as to ask for the barkeep’s number at a crowded bar.  Even if they want to give you their number, it makes it more awkward with people around as it is unprofessional and sets a bad example to the patrons they don’t want to see ever again.  On that note, if you notice the bartender is flirting with almost every other patron except for you, it is probably because you are the creep.  You want to introduce yourself, that’s one thing; I like knowing my patron’s names, makes it easier to remember their order, but don’t make things uncomfortable. 
'How can I make things uncomfortable' you ask? Oh well a prolonged handshake, kissing the person’s hand, telling them they smell delicious; you know, anything that would make someone not stuck behind a bar RUN.

As always while you are in public, be polite.   Once you know the bartender’s name, there is no reason to continuously shout it across the bar.  Get their attention once.  If they are busy, they will come to you in a minute.  My biggest pet peeve while working was the ‘entitled patron’ as if I should be so happy and feel lucky that they graced me with their presence on a weekend night. 

What? No thank you.

Usually that ‘entitled patron’ thinks they are God’s gift to the world and are therefore the most annoying and hard to handle person ever.  You know them, they are the person screaming ‘drinks on me’ and ordering shots for everyone and their mother, but then when it’s time to pay they are pissing and moaning that the price is, well, the price!  A buy-back is a privilege, not a right.  So if you were being a jerk all night or nasty or quite frankly, I don’t like you, then you will pay for all of your drinks and that is that. I hate cheap people, as a general life rule, I just hate cheap people.  When I go out, I know I am going to spend money.  Sure, I wake up in the morning wondering why I spent as much money as I did, particularly because I am not rolling in the dough, but I know when I go out to have a good time, I am going to have a good time.  Having a good time at night costs money and I prepare myself for that, so it does not come as a surprise.  Don’t act like a big spender if you cannot back it up; that is rule number one.

I have a few rules when I bartend; I always introduce myself to people and ask how they are [it pays to be polite], if anyone orders a ridiculous drink name like they went to bartending school [a Cape Cod is just a Vodka cranberry] they get heckled and usually have to wait for their drink, if you order a ‘Long Island’ I will judge you and avoid you at all costs, and last but not least, men should not order pink drinks.  Pink drinks are ridiculous for anyone not starring in ‘Sex and the City’, but it is far more absurd for a grown man.  As far as ordering ‘fancy’ drinks go, ordering a Cosmopolitan or a Martini is one thing, but if you are trying to test my knowledge with things like an ‘Alabama slammer’ at a local watering hole on a Friday night, well then I am going to tell you to kick rocks. Also, please please PLEASE do not ask for a free drink.  If you come up thinking you’re clever like ‘oh are drinks on you?’ the answer will be no, this round is not on me, and the next 3 won’t be either.  Do you know how you get free drinks? You be nice and interesting and TIP WELL! 

That leads me into a huge point, TIPPING.  Unless you’re in a college bar with $1 beers, a dollar tip is not appropriate.  For one drink (~$5 for the drink) a $2 tip is the minimum, that gets you by with just being average and not cheap.  If you want to make an impression, get quicker service and have drinks bought for you, throw a $10 for your one drink and say ‘keep it’.  That means your next one will be on me, and I will flock as quickly as I can, or tell the other bartender, when I see you come to the bar.  When you order two or more drinks, if you still leave $2, that is cheap.  The more drinks you buy, the more you have to leave, period.  If you are putting money behind the bar, either keep a tally of it or tell the bartender how much should be left for them, so at the end of the night you do not end up stiffing that person just because they did their job of charging you for some of what you ordered.  I like starting a kitty[1] when I go to a bar; it makes it easier when there are a few people ordering rounds, and also if a new person comes up and orders but uses the same money, the bartender will know to give a buyback. 

To recap this overall article, while going out for a night on the town remember:

1)      It is the bartender’s job to flirt with you

2)      Introduce yourself, be friendly.

3)      Buy backs are a privilege, not a right.

4)      Don’t ever TELL someone to buy a drink for you.

5)      If you are out,  be prepared to spend money.

6)      A $2 tip for one drink is a minimum.

And the main rule. . .

7)      Have fun!

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[1] A collection of money pooled from your party and left behind the bar to be taken out whenever someone buys a round.

Drowning in the Ocean

Now that I have your attention with this morbid title, lets dive into a subject equally as morbid . . . dating! I know this topic comes up a lot on my blog, but it really is just because I go on so many awful dates I feel like I need to write about it to 1) laugh and 2) warn the guys out there of how NOT to act.

So, I will proceed.

First dates are awkward, no matter what.  Personally, I do not really care for a dinner date because I get weirded out eating in front of new people and I feel like the whole situation is tense to begin with.

The best first date I have ever been on was the most creative date ever.  This boy I was seeing (yes, we started seeing each other before we went on an actual fancy date) took me to this indie art gallery for the British Graffiti Artist Banksy, and then took me to a diner.  Now, I was 19 so the diner wasn’t swanky but it was in Manhattan and that was cool enough for me.  I had a really nice time on the date but because I am a whackadoodle in my own right, I got weird when it was time to eat and he thought I wasn’t having fun.  Luckily anyone who knew me for 5 minutes back then knew I had weird quirks like ripping apart sandwiches before I ate them in public, so me and him were able to move on from it.  Now as I am older I have gotten better about that and don’t really care much anymore, I just continue to stuff my face like a pig because whatever, I love food.

However, recently I went on a terrible dinner and movie date and the awkwardness wasn’t even my fault!  So now that we have some background on how awesome and weird I am and how I triumphed over my beginner date awkwardness, let’s continue.  While I am less weird now, first dates are always weird.  You never know the person’s exact intentions, if they like you too or are you just trying to feel each other out, do you have something in your teeth, do you order a drink, do you kiss goodbye? I never know what is going on, but I’m good with reading situations so I just go with the flow. 

Now that I am an adult, I do not expect the poshest of places, I’m not asking anyone to drop 2k on a date, but I do have some standards.  So when a 28 year old man asked me to dinner and a movie, I figured a dress and sandals for a Sunday funday would be appropriate.  This date was doomed from the beginning.  He told me he would be at my house at ‘about 6’ yet showed up at nearly 7 without any call or text; luckily I was with my friends so I did not care, but still, RUDE.  Sure, he picked me up from my house, got out of the car and kissed me hello on the cheek, so that was nice.  Yet the kiss of death, other than being tardy, was that he was wearing an obnoxiously bright Abercrombie tee-shirt, jeans, and rainbow flip flops.

HOLD UP.

Yes, I said rainbow brand flip flops.  We live in the boroughs, this isn’t Florida, there is no reason to be wearing flip flops and certainly not on a first date.  Girls are different, and sandals are different.  Mine had cute little rhinestones all over them and were appropriate for the concrete jungle.  His were appropriate for a frat house brofest or some Cali beach bar, definitely not first date material.  But, I really wanted to see the movie so I wasn’t going to bail at that point; my friends tell me to give everyone a chance. 

We drive to the neighborhood where the movie theater is and he asked if we could eat around there—sure, no problem, there are nice restaurants around there.  But where do we go? Applebee’s.  That place is fine if you’ve been dating and you’re having a casual night or lunch or with your friends/family, but on the FIRST DATE? Seriously bro, pull yourself together! Before we even got in to the restaurant he proceeded to fight with the 18 year old valet boy because he did not want anyone parking his car (why not park on the street then, buddy?) and this poor kid finally caved in and just let him park.  As if that wasn’t a mortifying turn-off all on its own, when we walk in to the restaurant he sits at the bar and begins looking at the drink menu.  The more and more this ‘date’ went on, the more I realized it was like a friend date and not a date at all, or at least in my eyes.  He then flirted with the bartender, got a PINK long island iced tea, downed that and then ordered a beer, with a side of food.  I used to bartend and my top rules were 1) men only drink clear, gold or dark drinks and 2) no one of age orders a long island iced tea. EVER! But more importantly, who orders a long island iced tea (which has 5 different types of liquors in it) on a first date? Especially when they are driving and especially when they are supposed to be trying to make a good impression.  He scarfed the drink and his food down within 30 minutes and scurried out of the bar and to the movie which we were now late for.   We get to the movie which I was previously so excited for, the company excluded, and we are second row from the front!!! Anyone that has ever been to an Imax movie [as if they make regular movies anymore, ha!] knows that sitting in the orchestra seating is like staring at the sun while scratching your eyes out.  It is just awful.

As predicted, the movie was amazing and that made up for the fact that I wanted to slap my company in his dumb drunk face.  Once the movie finished I was happy off the high of the movie and glad the awful date had come to an end.  Luckily I was able to get home with just a handshake and a ‘thanks’ but needless to say no future texts were responded to. 

If you have missed the moral in this blog [because lets face it, all of my blogs have a life lesson or act as a PSA], here it goes . . . When taking a girl on a date, be prompt, dress to kill (hearts, that is), don’t get hammered and always take time into consideration if you’re on a schedule, events get crowded!  Also, feel free to talk about yourself, obviously you’re on a date to get to know the person, but if all of your stories are about how you and your friends are getting mangled on a Tuesday night, you need to grow up.  I do not date younger guys and quite frankly I am too old for the ‘party girl scene’ to intrigue me anymore.  Be yourself, but if that is the guy that drinks pink long island iced teas at a bar during ‘dinner’ then maybe you need to reflect on the person you are and accept the fact that you probably should be alone forever.

Social Sciences- Just keep Swimming.

Onward I go on my forever journey to find a suitable mate.  Just kidding, that sounds creepy, but that directly ties in to this blog, yet another installment on dating.

I just want to start by saying, I know I am no Queen of Sheba or anything, but I am a good catch.  I am dedicated, loyal, passionate, driven, smart, funny, I know my strengths; however, on the flip side, I know I have my flaws, which I can point out in a heartbeat [but I won’t. We’re not that intimate yet.]  There is absolutely nothing wrong with flaws, we all have them, that’s what makes us human, and they are beautiful.  But, what is wrong is not owning your flaws.  You can be stubborn or impatient or have a bad temper, those are flaws, but if you acknowledge it and either own up to it or try to maybe not do it as much, then it’s all gravy.  I know I am constantly noticing new flaws about myself and trying to change those behaviors, make them work for me and better myself.

That being said, being thrown back in to the world of dating has seriously shown me the kinds of people out there and let me tell you, IT IS SCARY!  Unfortunately, with the creation of internet dating, it is making it harder for people serious about relationships to meet.  It is just assumed at this point that almost everyone on internet dating sites are just trolling the interwebz[1] to do just that, be a thirsty[2] troll.  Serious relationships aren’t for everyone, that is fine, I don’t ever go in to something without getting to know the person first, but you cannot get involved with anyone unless you know yourself!  So, if this sounds like you, it is a flaw and you need to work on it before you try to work on someone else.  There is something that cannot be said enough, don’t be creepy!!  If you would not do something in real life, do not do it on the internet.  That also includes taking the previously said statement and turning it in to something inappropriate.  The internet is filled with creepy pickup lines and pictures of bodies or inappropriate areas; like listen, if you’re not going around pantless in public (naked cowboy aside) then don’t do it on the internet, that won’t help you find that ‘good girl’ you’re supposedly looking for!  Also, there should be an unwritten rule, if you are on a dating website and you see someone you know in real life leave them alone!  We are all on the site, it is embarrassing all around; unless you are looking for some romantic involvement, do not add them to your favorites or message them or say something in person.  Yes, it is awkward you found them, but you are on there too!

If internet trolling is not your thing, thankfully, there are real life dates! Real life dating is still equally as difficult in deciphering intention and also has a lot of technology play.  For instance, I am not a phone person, the only people I talk to on the phone are my immediate family and that is it, anyone else can text me.  The problem with texting is a lot (like sarcasm) gets lost in translation and things you meant to sound flirty and funny come off sounding arrogant and disinterested.  Like life, this is a delicate balance!  Don’t sweat it, if you make a mistake, try to explain yourself and keep going; if the person can’t get over it, well then ‘keep it movin’[3] plenty more fish in the sea.  But, try to read social queues, even via text.  If someone isn’t answering your texts, don’t send a bunch asking what they’re doing or if they’re busy, especially if your ‘relationship’ is new and not really a relationship at all.  Chances are your love interest is either away from their phone and will get back, busy and will get back, or just does not want to talk at that particular moment.  Any of those options come to the same result, let it be, they will text you when they are ready, and then you can play the waiting game to get back at them.

Another thing that has always confused me is the whole ‘dating’, ‘talking’, ‘seeing each other’, ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ titles.  My thing with titles is, if you have not discussed it, then you are not exclusive, end of story.  Do not ever assume that you are exclusively with someone just because you talk to him or her all of the time and you are intimate.  If you do not want your love interest seeing anyone but you romantically, then you need to sit them down and talk to them about it.  There is nothing to be afraid of, because one of two things will happen, either they will say 1) ‘yes, lets be exclusive.  I don’t want to see you with anyone else’ or they will say 2) ‘I am not ready yet and this really isn’t what I want. It’s over.’  While you may be afraid it will go in the latter direction and you are not quite ready to let go just yet, this conversation still needs to be had.  It gives a lot of clarity and really stops you from wasting any time and looking silly when you are giving your all to someone who is running around with several someones.

If the conversation goes in your favor and you do end up in a committed relationship, do not suddenly be clingy.  Scratch that, even if you aren’t in a committed relationship that advice is especially pertinent, I repeat: Do Not Be Clingy.  Know your place on the hierarchy.  If your interest is out with his/her friends partying and not really doing anything other than just dancing or sitting at a bar, don’t show up alone, unannounced and looking crazy.  Play it cool.  Sure, if you want to introduce your girls to his guy friends and all hang out together, that’s cool, being a team player and an excellent wingman is always appreciated, but make sure it is planned.  There is nothing worse than when you’re just trying to have a low-key night with friends and then the person you [thought] you really liked [notice how it’s past tense] comes in acting crazy territorial.  Nobody likes a stage 5 clinger.  This goes back to reading social queues; sometimes it is cute to show up unexpected, but if you’re showing up like hell on wheels being all touchy feely and not leaving that person’s side, well then you have overstayed your welcome.

Every situation is different; sometimes what could come off as creepy to strangers is something your interest would love for you to do.  It all depends on your relationship, so make sure to read the signs and play it cool.  Good luck out there daters, heads up and temperatures down. 

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[1] Colloquialism for Internet.  All the kids are saying it these days.

[2] Thirst: To only have intentions of promiscuity

[3] Thank you Tahitz for such amazingly life changing advice ;)

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

I have always been an old soul.  While I am young in both age and appearance, everything about me screams geriatric.  When I was a child I would always love ‘strange’ things; I liked to wear my grandmother’s jewelry, loved to listen to music of older generations like the Rat Pack or anything that is attributed to the Woodstock era.  I’ve always loved braids, flowers in my hair, floor length dresses, ‘vintage’ furniture [currently in my house is a 40 year old white and gold couch]; but my affinity for these things happened long before the ‘everything that’s old is new again’ craze.

From this brief description of myself, it is clear that I am 1) living in the wrong era but more importantly 2) march to the beat of my own drum.  Now I would identify with being a hippie, but I am more conservative in my political views, I love to shave and shower daily, I wear deodorant, I am not a fan of ‘free love’ (icky!), I do not do drugs and I work a 9-5.  In this sense, some people can say I am a ‘sell out’, but to me I am a different kind of ‘hippie’; I am a free spirit. 

Not too long ago someone called me a free spirit as an insult.  Originally I defended myself and then I thought well maybe I am too old to be so carefree and passionate about the ‘little things’ [finding art in every day, stopping to take pictures of flowers or clouds, getting lost in thought of nature, living life based on passion.] That was the time period where I doubted myself and tried to change, to conform, which goes against everything I really believe in.  Once I acknowledged that was happening, I promised never to lose myself again.  I reflected, got back to my roots and realized that there is only one me; full of love for life, zest, wonder for the world, hungry for knowledge and experience and just zeal.  I am the kind of person who does not wait for anyone.  I can go my own way and meet you there, I can show up alone and still be the life of the party, I am me, and no one can ever and will never make me forget that again. Alas, I digress.

What this person took as a negative quality, a free spirit, is something I hold as an ideal.  I see the world differently than most [cynically jaded] people, not through rose-colored glasses, but through glasses of retrospect, analysis and curiosity.  I take experiences, quotes, or anything I take in and analyze it, figure out what it means to me from the past and present.  Every experience, relationship, new fact that comes in to my life, I breathe in.  I feel every contact/situation was put in to your life for some small reason and that reason is discovered by recognizing and analyzing.  While this may seem a little ‘flower child’ way of thinking, a little out of ‘left field’ and not the norm, that sums me up in a nutshell.  This way of thinking is my very essence.  I am not outside dancing for rain to come or lighting incense to realign my aura; I’m not that kind of hippie, but I am the kind of free spirit that thinks far outside the box.  I am clear and concise, but I am a little quirky and this way of thinking keeps me sane.  It shows me that I am different and special and that my purpose on this earth is to be as helpful as I can and leave everyone I meet better than I found them.  That is all I want from life; to help.

When I was younger, I thought the only way you can make a difference in this world was to be a big shot Doctor; I was devastated when that did not pan out for me.  As I am older and more set in my ways, I am realizing that there are so many ways to help.  You do not need to be a doctor or be some probono activist; you just need to find your strengths and use it.  I am a nurturer by trade, that has been engrained in to my very essence, I love taking care of people, I love helping people, I love just being there for people.  You can always depend on me; if you need me, I am there.  I have recently learned that being dependable and nurturing, knowing what to do or say in times of discomfort or chaos is a skill, it is not an attribute everyone is equipped with.  That is my purpose in life.  I can help people through words, literature, life experiences; everything I hold dear in life.  If my words can help even one person, then I can die having fulfilled an accomplished life.

So the next time someone who’s lips are dripping with venom calls me a free spirit, I will just smile and say ‘thank you’ because they don’t know how big of a compliment that really is.

To Live a Creative Life, We Must Lose the Fear of Being Wrong.

Doing makeup has always been a personal hobby and guilty pleasure of mine.  Any excuse to get dolled up, and I would be dressed to the nine’s with stunning makeup (if I don’t say so myself.)  When I was in college, everyone would come to my room before a night out and I would do makeup for the masses.  My specialty is experimenting with different eyeshadows, mixing colors, bringing out an individual’s natural beauty and making their features pop.

Now that I am no longer in college, I figured I could make a side business out of my passionate hobby.  With my loyal friends as my customer base and ready to give out references, Revel Makeup Artistry[1] was born. 

We have a nice sized portfolio for examples and do makeup for any occasion.  Whether it be themed parties, weddings, birthdays, showers, prom, Revel Makeup is there to help enhance your beautiful features and give your look a little out of the ordinary addition.  With a convenient location, affordable rates and a flexible schedule, Revel Makeup Artistry is a good start up local business.  I set up a Facebook page to showcase all of my work and a separate email address (RevelMakeup@gmail.com) to set up appointments.

While writing has always been my passion and something I am extremely proud of, to see people want to schedule appointments for makeup or have strangers compliment people on my work is amazing to me.  Something a simple as a silly little hobby I’ve been doing for years turned out to be a something I am incredibly proud of.  I have people I don’t know come up to me and say how they saw someone’s makeup I’ve done and they would like to schedule me for a party.  That kind of local celebrity is a small nod to my ‘talent’ and it is something I really appreciate, especially since I am a huge self doubter and very critical of myself; to get recognition is extremely humbling.  I have always been afraid to let people read my work or see my art, I have always been afraid of criticism when it came to my creations, but I have learned to be more confident and proud of my accomplishments.  So far, it has been working out for me.  Revel Makeup Artistry has a nice fan base and have been given reviews and referrals from the best clientele any business could ask for.  I am a huge support of local and small businesses and know that word of mouth reviews go a long way.  For this reason Revel is dedicated to taking care of our loyal customers and new customers alike.  With specials, discounts and deals, you are in good hands with Revel Makeup Artistry.

So if you, or possibly your special lady, have plans coming up that you want to be more than ordinary, email Revel Makeup or find us on Facebook!

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[1] Please find us on Facebook, Revel Makeup Artistry, or email us RevelMakeup@gmail.com