In Plato’s symposium, he states that
‘according to Greek
mythology humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs & a head with two
faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split
them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of
their other halves.’
This is one notion of soul
mates.
The
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines soul mates as:
1 a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.
2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or
beliefs <ideological soul mates>
This notion is not as poetically beautiful and
heartbreakingly romantic [i.e. star-crossed lovers] as Plato’s definition, but
it does explain the word none the less.
My problem with the idea of soul mates is that it is just that, an
idea. To me, it poses more questions
than it answers; and that probably speaks to my character of a skeptic. Many people, myself included [hence my
perplexity], believe that soul mates and love at first sight are
interchangeable notions of love.
Here is where my confusion begins. I personally believe the idea is that even
though someone is your soul mate, you may not know it right when you look at
them. I mean, isn’t the whole idea of ‘love
at first sight’ rather vapid and shallow seeming? You are falling for a person
entirely based on their looks under the quasi guise of ‘the universe pulled us together.’
I doubt it.
I am all for the universe and a higher being putting me
where I need to be, don’t get me wrong, but the fact that you can just look at
a person and know in your heart of hearts that they were put on this earth
as your counterpart? Well, I don’t know; that just seems unrealistic. But again, I did warn you I was a
skeptic. It is a very sweet idea, nevertheless
I just feel like if you do have a soul mate, you only know it after really
getting to know them. Call me old
fashioned, but I do not meet someone and know in the first five minutes if I
want to be around them forever. I need
to ease into things. Nevertheless, if we
have several dates and conversations and there are cosmic connections and we
seem to be two peas in a pod, then okay! Soul mates it is!
Now here is the scary part.
In Plato’s story, it seems that every person only gets one soul mate, one counterpart;
That is what makes their love special, right?
Well, who is to say that you and this alleged one perfect mate are on
the same continent let alone same state? Wouldn’t that be the universe’s
cruelest joke to have this perfect partner for you yet you will never have a
chance to know them? But I guess that is
why there are non-believers out there.
So, most of us settle.
We do not believe in soul mates and perfect relationships because we are
realists. Does that mean you give up on
true love?
What if you find your soul mate and they are suddenly taken
away from you? Or what if you find them and you grow apart or no longer fit
down the road? Does this mean they were never the real soul mate for you, that
your connection was possibly a fluke? This is why ‘soul mates’, ‘true love’ and
‘fairy tale romances’ make me nervous; there are so many ways they can
be broken in the real world. Such a
comforting notion knowing that you are not alone in the world and there is
someone out there who loves you more than anyone ever can, they just haven’t
met you yet, scares me. It brings about
more fears than consolation, and quite frankly I am unsure I understand the
entire concept.
Granted, I am probably analyzing and divulging into it more
deeply than the great Plato did himself; but what is the point of learning something
if you cannot pick it apart and come to your own conclusion?
Where does one go to find their soul mate, because I am sure
they are not lurking around the local watering hole. Or maybe they are, and that is why they are special
to the person who finds them there. I
hear all my friends talk about speed dating and internet dating and meeting
people in bars and everyone has their fair share of interesting [horror]
stories, as my blog certainly can attest, but no prince charming coming out of the rubble. Is it possible that our soul mates have
already jumped ship in looking for us and have settled onto the first love that
didn’t end with them drinking poison[1]?
All these questions
spinning through my head around the subject makes me both exhausted and
disheartened for ever finding my ‘other half.’
You see, as much as I do wish soul mates existed, never in the
definitions (at least from dictionaries) does it say it needs to be on a
romantic level. I mean, if a soul mate
is just someone who you love spending time with and has the same beliefs/ideologies/temperament
as you do, well then my close friends are my soul mates. With that conception, albeit sweet, I
reaffirm myself that I am going to be single forever with 40 dogs; I could never
be a cat lady.
So, my darling romantically hopeful readers, what are your
thoughts? Where do you fall on the plight of the soul mate? I need some optimism to give my dog-filled[2]
future some hope.
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