Serendipity—it’s not like the movies.

Like stated in previous blogs, I am a cynic.  I am probably a horrible girl; all the ‘rom coms,’ ‘princess movies’ and ‘chick flicks’ I’ve watched don’t reassure me that love will find me, it just reassures me that life is not like the movies! When all my friends talk about soul mates, serendipity[1], love at first sight and things being ‘meant to be,’ well I just know that scenarios like that are completely unlikely.  I do not believe in love at first sight, the jury is still out on soul mates, and as far as things being ‘meant to be’ and serendipitous, well, I feel like that is really just an opinion.  Sure, maybe the universe is bringing you to someone, but if BOTH parties do not see it, then one of you is a creep and the object of your love gets weirded out and does not want to be near you.

A few weeks ago I went to a concert with my friends in the city.  We were all looking forward to it, and being musically inclined, we knew to stand in the middle of the floor instead of going up close.  As we were all standing there waiting for the headliner to begin after the opening act I noticed someone in the crowd that looked very similar to my college roommate’s friend.  After some gawking I realized it was not him, but I did find myself in an ‘eye flirtationship[2].’ Shortly after we made googley eyes at each other, the concert started and he preceded to the front while my friends and I firmly planted ourselves in the best acoustic area, the middle.  Several weeks later I was futzing around on one of my many social media accounts and stumbled across him.  I remember saying ‘wow this kid looks familiar, probably can’t be the same person, that is TOO random.’  But I decided to message him and ask if he was the kid from the concert and how he is; usual pleasantries. I mean, he was a good looking kid, and clearly this was an opportunity, so why not be friendly? The few friends of mine I shared this ‘ironic’ encounter with (both men and women, by the way) decided that it was the universe specifically getting us together.  As if, for some reason, we were meant to meet and fate was having us meet again to make a move this time.  Although I do not agree with this at all, who am I to not jump on an ironic situation; for the main reason that I know I will have a good story to tell later[3].

After messaging back and forth, then taking the conversation to text, we discovered something . . . He looks like my college roommate’s friend because his TWIN BROTHER went to my college.  Apparently us having so many connections (a la- 10 degrees of Kevin Bacon) was creepy and our quick flirtationship ceased and desisted abruptly.   You see, even if the universe does [and I’m not saying it does] bring two people together; they need to both be open to seeing that fact.  If they are not, then it is just a missed opportunity and a chance encounter.  I was slightly bummed out by this fact; not for the reason of missing a cosmic connection (insert eye roll here), not even for the fact of it turning into more, I think I was most disappointed by the fact that, while I do pride myself as a cynic, I still hold a tiny bit of hope for things like ‘destiny’ and ‘true love’, and that is not an idea most males my age are open to. 

Romance, like chivalry, is a dead art.

While there may be no counterpoint for me that also holds out hope for these naïve notions, it was nice to see that there may be some cosmic pull drawing people together.  I am beginning to learn that, unlike the movies, destiny and soul mates aren’t always referring to your love life.  My destiny lately is career oriented, and I love that.  As for soul mates, I am sticking to that being the group of friends I have in my life, that I know were put there for a big reason.  As far as the ‘love’ aspect of my life, maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t; I have far bigger things to worry about than pulling up my horoscope and mapping my days around when it says I will find love.  The best part of where my journey is taking me now, is that I am extremely positive and happy in my everyday life.  Live a life so amazing that it will only attract the best people.  That will bring around a serendipitous person. J

---

[1] A situation happening by luck, as if it were meant to.

[2] A flirty ‘relationship’ in which you engage a potential love interest by making eyes at them.

[3] I rather have a ‘bad’ story (which ends up being good) than no story at all.  Make life interesting!

40 days. Or My monthly Challenge.

One of my friends is very religious, but also very spiritual.  She loves to constantly find new things out about herself, the purpose for which she is on earth, and how far she can push/test herself.  For this reason, she put herself up to a challenge; every 40 days she will try something new. 

Why 40?

Well in the Bible 40 is a reoccurring and significant figure.  It signifies a period of testing, trials and tribulations, yet always ends with enlightenment.  Also, science says it takes 40 days to break a habit, or in this case, create a new one.

Her first test was to stay off the alluring devil, Facebook, for 40 days.  Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t think I could stay off of it for 40 minutes of free time let alone for 40 days, so I’m out.  That being said, she passed that test and even after reactivating her Facebook, no longer feels the need to check it or be as dependent on it for entertainment as she used to be.   As much as I would love to say I’m not, I am totally a social media addict [as this blog can attest to.]  But I guess the first step to beating any addiction is to admitting it, right? 

My name is Gabrielle and I am addicted to Social Media.

 That being said, I cannot give up on it just yet; also because then what else would you good people have to read in the interim??

So that test is not applicable to me, on to the next one.  Her next test was to keep her hair up/pulled back for 40 days, as that is something she is not used to.  I hate my hair up and it doesn’t flatter me, so really what am I accomplishing by attempting that one?  Not that I want to take her experiments, but I am always up for something new to push myself.  That got me thinking, while picking up/letting go of something for 40 days is a great idea, it should really challenge or change you. 

Yesterday I had an epiphany; it was August 1^st and I was going to start challenging myself.  I’ll start with a month since that’s just easier for me to keep track of in my hectic lifestyle and doesn’t add as much pressure.  Back in March I got a ‘let it be’ tattoo because the song has always been close to my heart, and I also wanted the daily reminder to not get so crazy over things I cannot change.  Well, it’s been 5 months and I still let things get to me just as much as I always did. 

It’s not that I’m sensitive, because in most ways I am not, but I tend to take things to heart and get hurt or hotheaded on things that do not matter or because of people who are of no consequence to me.  That being said, in the past two weeks I have had several run-ins with people who make no mind yet it still left me irritated and ruined my night.  After a very convincing pep talk from my mother and my Fundip[1], I decided to just let it go.  That started my epiphany.  There are way too many real problems in this world, things that can go wrong, chance and circumstances beyond my control, that I do not need to give power to those people who really do not matter to me.  So that was my first monthly challenge, Ignore people.  Sure, that seems really easy and it doesn’t seem like a ‘challenge’, but for me it is.  And I know I will be better for it at the end of this month.  So let’s hope this and my mantra bring me some serenity in the next upcoming weeks . . .and forever since this is going to be a life changing project.

As I am on a 5 month intense workout program, working out and my health are some things I am really obsessed with and have been keeping on top of.  While they aren’t exactly ‘new’ in terms of this monthly challenge, they are important tests I am going to stick with.  That being said, I need more things to keep me on track for being a ‘zen’ person and constantly push my boundaries and try new things. 

If anyone wants me to write blogs about specific things, try something new and humiliate myself, here is the chance to tell me!!  I will be accepting all new challenges per month for a limited time, and since this month is more of an internal challenge to better myself, I would like to pick up some fun new challenge to test myself.

---

[1] Fundip: A very honest and levelheaded friend of mine who, if you go against her, will leg lock you into submission until you calm down and see it her way.

Breakup. Breakdown.

In my 25 years of life, I have never had a bad breakup.  I have been sad, obviously, but I have never been devastated or crippled for a long period of time[i].  Earlier this year I went through a bad breakup; whirlwind romance, started quickly, madly passionate, strong connection, ended abruptly.  Although it was not my longest relationship, it certainly left me shattered and shaken to my core once it was over.  I felt like I lost my best friend, all the effort I put in was not enough and my future was suddenly a blank canvas, which always scared me.  I never didn’t have a plan in life; I was always working towards some goal, even if it didn’t pan out, I would just switch focus and would be just fine.  Yet this time, this time, I was left a little shell shocked. 

I have never been broken hearted for long, so this put me in a new spot.  It was February and my favorite celebratory month, March[ii], was quickly approaching.  As I was going through what most people go through in their late teenage college years, I acted in that kind of mindset; I put on my ‘big girl’ pants, head out and proceeded to ‘paint the town red' for a month, because ‘fake it til you make it’ seemed like grand advice.  At the end of a very eventful and fun month, I began to feel even sadder than I did before.  Apparently drowning your emotions in Green Bagels and Cider isn’t the best cure for heartache.  Alas, my friends, being the amazing support system they are, tried to distract me with conversations and fun new adventures for us to go on.  These are things girls do when their friends suddenly become single, they swoop in with fancy outfits and nights out or wine, makeup and movies, and I am lucky to have such amazing friends.  Yet at the end of the day (and several months later) I realized the best thing that really could help me was time alone; crying alone watching movies, drinking wine alone whilst crying and watching movies, doing laundry alone and whimpering about the oversized clothes that found their way back into my life, this was really what I had to go through all along.  Heartbreak is a rite of passage, and something I have always avoided.  Usually my ‘quick fix’ was to hold my head high, dance it out and carry on.  This time, that plan failed me miserably . . . or did it?

The best thing about a breakup (and the ensuing breakdown) is that you get to build yourself up.  Like a phoenix you have no choice but to rise from the ashes and really get back to yourself from the ground up! Once I accepted the fact that this is the first time I am utterly alone in a while, I was able to get myself into a routine and make all the decisions I always wanted.  I picked up a workout routine, I was at a different position at work, I picked new colors for my house, started cooking the foods that best fit my schedule and dietary restrictions—this was all about me.  And anyone that knows me [or anyone in my family] knows how much I [we] like the spotlight[iii].  Many years ago one of my friends was reading Eat Pray Love and decided to paraphrase the following quote for me:

‘Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it – in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace.’

Now, as I have many things [like a job, family, friends and a mortgage] keeping me in the place that I am, I felt the book was a little . . . fictional for me.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a good story [for the parts of the book I actually read, before getting overwhelmed with her complacency] but I just felt I couldn’t really relate to it.  Again, that was years ago.  Now in my life, while still not running away from my problems, I understand a little more of what she meant.  All in the same month I ended a relationship, started a new position at work and completely overhauled my house ‘décor’ in order to gain some control back into my life.  While I was feeling a bit confused and overwhelmed, [I hate change. I HATE change], looking back now I realize I was in the best possible place.  No, that place was not India.  Instead, that place was just, hope.  I was standing smack dab in the middle of infinite possibilities; my life was a blank slate, I could do anything I wanted to.  And so I did.

Being as that was 6 months ago, I can now happily say that where I am may not exactly be where I want to be in the end, but I am so much happier and closer to getting there.  I am enjoying my journey of life and have really learned a lot about myself, my goals, my loved ones, and what I want from the world that I may not have previously known before.  All kinds of people have come in and out of my life over the years, but I am lucky enough to say the ones that have trooped it out with me from last year to this year are really the best.  They are troopers, veterans of life and soldiers of wisdom and fun; they are my backbone, my friends and my family.  I know they always have my best interest at heart, even when they have to fight me to see it, and they will be there when the lights go out and chips are down.  And for that, I am forever grateful.  I know the people in my life now will be there in 5, 10, 15 years, because, well, we’ve been through it all now and they can’t get rid of me that easily!

While this time period has taught me a lot about the company I keep, this time has also taught me a lot about myself.  I learned what I will tolerate in relationships, what I can compromise on, what I can’t, where I’m going in life and who would be a suitable fit to take that trip with me, what I deserve and most of all what I can’t live without.  Experiencing heartache and going on hilariously awful dates has really taught me more about myself than I could’ve known before.  Sure, I probably should have been taught this lesson in my younger years, since I am not new to the relationship scene, but my priorities have changed a lot from my childhood to my adulthood and my focus has greatly shifted.  I have learned that some issues are extremely important to me, such as religion or politics.  Those things have never really been a topic of conversation or issue before, but recently I am growing to realize that, obviously not everyone has the same opinion as me, that isn’t a new revelation, but also that I don’t think I could really be with anyone who’s views were so drastically contradictory to mine. 

But so it goes, life is always a learning a process; and just when you think you have gone through all the lessons life has to offer and it is smooth sailing from here on out, well, that’s just another lesson life is teaching you at the moment.

---

[i] A long period of time being more than a week or so.

[ii] St Patty’s is designated to a MONTH of shenanigans, not just a day.   Don’t be an amateur.

[iii] This statement is a half joke….or a half truth. 

The internet is more scary than the monsters under your bed.

I needed an extra giggle in my life lately so I decided to revisit the world of online dating.  Let me preface with I have never and will never actually meet anyone from a dating site, but it is hilarious to see how the other half lives.  I feel like I lurk the internet to write these blogs just to save people, mainly from themselves [or their creepiness], and to give them a fighting chance and some insight as to what females are thinking.

First off, as we all know the whole ‘creepy’ angle doesn’t work.  There is no reason to only have pictures of every other body part except for your face, but clearly some people were raised by wolves.  Also, if you’re going to only have pictures of your six-pack or God knows what else, then don’t put in your profile how you are looking for a ‘sweet girl to take home to mom’.  Unless your mom also walks around with her goods hanging out, I am sure she will not appreciate any girl that is attracted to your raunchy pictures and uncomfortably lewd messages.

Not as obscenely in your face as the raunch[1] pictures, but ENOUGH with the gym pictures! Enough.  Everyone has them, I am unsure why, but everyone has them and it is really really unnecessary.  Mentioning in your profile you like to work out is good, taking a thousand pictures of you in the [empty] gym mirror standing in front of some machines flexing? Not so much.  Actually, it is just sad.  Sure, I may not look like I like to work out, but I do, and you know what? I actually work out! I don't just take pictures of myself in a gym.  If you still look good after your workout, then you did not workout hard enough.  If you look cute while going to workout, then you have an alterior motive.  I look like a banshee when I workout, and that is because I am there to burn calories and kick butt.  So, ladies and gents, that is where we stand on that.  Go to the gym and leave the camera at home; it creeps real gym goers out.

On the flip side, this also goes for uniforms, i.e. - FDNY, NYPD, Military, whatever.  Do not post pictures of you mainly in your uniform and then complain when you only get messaged by badge bunnies[2]. Let’s use a little thought here, quality people stick with quality people.  Ergo if you are being a trashbag[3], then do not expect to get the Queen of England, because that is not the vibe you are putting out.

As we have previously established in my other blogs, the internet is a ‘safe haven’ for people to act the way they would never act in person, and just be really creepy trolls.  For example, someone made a ‘dynamic duo’ profile and put up pictures and stats (insert eye roll here) for two different people.  That’s right, two people, one profile!  Okay, so obviously they are not looking for love on here [as if anyone would find it anyway] but really, do you need to be such a blatant pig? Clearly these people are desperate, and anyone that actually contacts them is equally as disgusting.

I have decided through diligent research that the users of this dating site can be broken up into the following categories: the horribly desperate [like the dynamic duo], people who live in their mom’s basement and will chop you to pieces on your first date, the painfully shy, the 1% of people who are actually looking for a relationship, the thirsty[4], and then people like me who just want a funny story (or in this case, blog) to tell.  While some people do find true love on internet sites like Match or eHarmony, free websites are more just to see who is out there . . . and let me tell you it is not a pretty sight/site.

If you need to have your default picture be a collage of yourself with a disclaimer ‘I have no Baby Momma Drama,’ well then life is not looking too promising for you.  Be a little self-aware of the image you are putting out there.  If you have a really weird ‘about me’ but then somewhere in there say how you are sarcastic and funny, okay then I will pray to the computer gods that all your profile was written in jest. 

I feel like this next bit needs to have it’s own paragraph because it is extremely important and not too many people really give it much thought . . . goes along with being self-aware of your image.  If you are only posting pictures of you smiling closed mouthed, constantly wearing a hat, or sunglasses, well then your profile is suspect.  The only reason to constantly hide your eyes is because you probably have a thyroid problem and you can see the whites all the way around them . . . get that checked out.  If you’re always wearing a hat, then I will assume you have no hair.  Granted, some people look AMAZING in hats and then take them off and just look ‘okay’, maybe you’re that person, but have at least one [recent] picture of you without a hat, otherwise people will think you are bald.  Same thing goes for never smiling with your teeth.  I happen to alternate between closed and opened smiles; I never know which I like more.  But, I am also very into hygiene and know important mouth cleanliness is.  So if you never smile to show your teeth, then assume people are going to look at you like George Washington and think you have wooden chompers of some sort.

Even if you are not on the internet, or would never date anyone from the internet, keep in mind the image you give off.  Not that I am really the most conscience of body language, but if you are smiling closed mouthed or crossing your arms, you look unapproachable.  Dating isn’t for everyone, it can be really awkward, so ease into it, go on some friend dates first.  But at least put yourself out there and be aware.  Not just of other people, but of how other people see you!   Not that you should care what everyone thinks, but just being aware of how people perceive the vibes you give off can go a great deal towards the perpetual battle of not dying alone with a bunch of cats.

Moral of the story, have a little [or a lot] of class and tact, but still try to have fun.

Good luck out there and remember, in the words of the great Pat Benatar:  Love is a battlefield. 

---

[1] Abbreviated colloquialism for the term raunchy.

[2] Girls that are only attracted to uniforms/badges

[3] Colloquialism for classless mess

[4] Someone solely interested in physical advances

Freaky Friday

I am getting a little tired of the same old bar scene.  Yes, I said it; I am tired of the same local bar scene.  I live in a town that has a pub/bar/lounge on every corner; yet no matter which bar I go to, every weekend seems to just be one really long redundant night. Nothing ever changes, same bars (even when they’re not), same people, same music, same everything!!  Not being one for redundancy, and because I spent the previous weekend home, I wanted to do something a little different last Friday.  I decided to spice up my Friday night and go to a psychic.

Whether or not you believe in psychics is one thing, but no matter what, it is a good time and something out of the ordinary.  I have been to several psychics in my day; some have ‘the gift’, some are huge hoaxes, and some are just good at reading people and building from there [i.e.-see the show Psych.]  However, my mother, aunt and cousin went to a party where this psychic did readings and I heard good things, so I decided to go.   I went into this experience with a skeptical head.  I mean, the last psychic I went to was good, but she really didn’t give me too much to go on, but the two before that? Nothing! Nothing they said ‘came true’ and nothing they said I found particularly useful or funny.  But, this is for entertainment purposes and it gives me a conversation to have with my friends and to write a blog over, so onward I went.

The psychic I called was Dolly Deebs[1], who is a Brooklyn woman, straight shooter and really easy to talk to.  Not to mention, she is talented, affordable and really easy to work with schedule-wise.  She sits you down at a table and immediately turns on her iPad to record the (~)30 minute session.  Some psychics have you write while they’re speaking, or they write for you, this way you can remember all the information they are giving you.  Well, Dolly takes all the guess work out of that and records the entire session, which she sends you in email, so you can take every part of what she said and heed her advice when the opportunity presents itself. 

A friend and I went and we both thoroughly enjoyed Dolly’s reading.  Not all of it made sense to me right now, (hence the recording), and who knows if it will come true [as any one step can change your destiny outcome] but I really enjoyed listening to her and a lot of what she said made sense.  The few psychics I went to in the past had a lot to say, but Dolly was very different.  She was to the point, assertive, and really made you pay attention and believe what she was saying.  She had testimonials of other clients she has helped and it really made me all the more confident in her reading.  Dolly keeps the reading entertaining and fun despite being honest and sometimes not having the best news.  Just in her demeanor, the way she says things, and how assured she was in her own abilities, I was put at ease and began to have fun instantly, while still paying attention to what she was saying.

Dolly told me a lot of things that she couldn’t have possibly known, a lot of things I myself have forgotten.  While I cannot confirm that her future predictions have come true (as it is not the future just yet), the past and present she touched upon was pretty on point.

Regardless of if you believe in psychics, if just want to have a night out of the ordinary; you should contact Dolly, because you are bound to have a good story to tell! And for you, skeptics, who knows, you might be turned a believer!! I was never one to mess around with Tarot Cards or palm readings, because to me I find those are more traits you can learn and can make things up for, like what gypsies do. However, after sitting down with Dolly, I have a renewed faith.  I really enjoyed my reading with Dolly, she even went out of her way after the session to follow up via email and give me additional information. 

I would absolutely go to Dolly again, and, as you can tell from this blog, I recommend her highly. J

Schedule a psychic party or reading:

Dolly Deebs

Email: Dollyd0724@yahoo.com

http://dollydeebs.wordpress.com/

---

[1] Psychic and Author of From Witch I Came. 

Murphy’s Law: Anything that could go wrong will go wrong

This is the story of my life; Murphy’s Law.  I am the perpetual Klutz McGee, which usually doesn’t bother me at all, but when I absolutely positively need something to go flawlessly . . . well, that’s when it all goes downhill.

Now, not everything needs to be a huge catastrophe; thank God, for me it’s usually just little things.  For example, my mother always used to tell me ‘make sure to look nice whenever you go out, because you never know who you will meet.’  Well this advice is obvious on a Friday/Saturday night, because getting dolled up on the weekend is my specialty, but any time I don’t head that advice, I usually regret it. 

Not getting it yet?  Okay, I will explain.

A few months ago my mother and I had tickets to go see The Nance on Broadway for a Sunday Matinee.  I got the tickets from some ‘internet deals’ kind of site, but I was really looking forward to the show since it looked great, Nathan Lane was starring in it, and I love any outing with my momma (she’s the best!).  So I kept in mind that I had to leave my house in the late morning to be ready for the show, but I went out Saturday night anyway.  My partner in crime and I went into the City, bar hopped then ended up back in my town and bar hopped some more.  Now Sunday morning comes, and I do not know how exactly it had happened, but I woke up with a hangover.  That being the case, obviously I was moving in slow motion that morning and figured since I had washed my hair before I went out last night, I can just pin my bangs back and not wash it again, being as that tacks on another 20 minutes (wash & dry time) to my shower routine.  So I clean up (minus my hair), throw some minimal makeup on, my favorite shirt and leggings and head out to meet my mother.  Now, little known fact about me; my hair is long but I absolutely despise putting my hair back.  I have had bangs for the past, I don’t know, 10 years, and it is for a reason.  I am not a fan of my hair pulled back, I think I look weird.  But it was a Sunday, and a play, and despite being a few blocks from my office, who was I going to see?

Sure enough, I am GAWKING at this man in the audience who is sitting near us.  He was so handsome and looked extremely familiar but I could not place why.  Intermission comes and goes and I figure it out!!

Jonathan Tucker[1]!

My ex-boyfriend and I had just re-watched the entire (and sadly short lived) series of The Black Donnelly’s, which starred Mr. Tucker, so his face was fresh on my mind. Once I figure it out I alert my mother (and brother via text) and our family meeting consensus was that I should go and say something.  Despite looking like a total banshee, towards the end of the play I walked up and said

‘You’re Jonathan Tucker, right?  I am a fan of your work.’

 Exchanged a few pleasantries and walked away.  See, the thing here, ladies, is to act cool even when you do not feel confident.  The main point is also sometimes saying less makes way more of a statement than talking someone’s head off does. 

It turns out Jonathan used to work with one of my friend’s brothers, and still kept in contact.  Well due to some diligent twitter research on his end, he made the connection and told my friend’s brother what an impression I made on him.  Unfortunately for me he is married, but it was still a pretty awesome run in! Now obviously with his marital status my looks made no difference, but I like to think had I heeded my mother’s advice and dolled up before going out, I could’ve bagged myself a single actor.  But then again, I’m sure some side swept bangs and a little blush isn’t going to make much of a difference, what you see is pretty much what you get, here. J

In a shorter, yet on topic story, I once met Gerard Butler one St Patrick’s day after I marched in the parade and probably drank my own weight in cider.  While I looked adorable when I left my house, the drunken end result probably looked a little lack luster.

That wasn’t even a bad story.  My problem is whenever I just roll out of my house thinking I’m not going to see anyone is when I see EVERYONE.  I went to the beach on Independence Day[2], and not like I would wear makeup to the beach, but people do not usually see me without eyeliner on and with my hair up.  Not that I am vapid or anything, and not that I am particularly horrifying without makeup (because I am not), but I just never have small tired eyes and a pony tail.  Anyway, this is how I showed up to the beach on that particular day; tired eyes, pony tail, and a sequin American Flag headband.  I baked on the beach for hours, getting covered in salt water, sunscreen, sweat and probably some sangria.  As I was departing my glorious, and private, beach community I noticed someone who did not belong . . . some hoe that hates my very existence.  Despite not knowing her too well in person, and having no personal problems with her, she certainly has said a lot of awful things about me; which is fine, as we all know, girls are b*s! But she had a sock bun[3] and sunglasses (I don’t need that kind of tan line) and just looked put together, despite wearing a tee-shirt to the beach [really never a good look when you’re sunbathing in a tee].   Of course every girl wants to look like a million bucks when they see someone who hates their guts (albeit unwarranted) but it was disappointing that I just looked . . . well, average.  Sure, I was kissed by the sun and looked like a bronze goddess, but I also looked like I needed a nap and some sunglasses, which were so conveniently missing.

The point is, narcissistic or not, you should always try to look nice whenever you leave the house.  You never know who you are going to see, and fate has a silly and cruel way of having people sneak into your life!

---

[1] Amazingly adorable actor.  http://www.imdb.com/find?q=Jonathan+Tucker&s=all

[2] That’s right, INDEPENDENCE DAY, none of this ‘4^th of July’ bologna.  I am AMERICAN, and I am going to proudly celebrate my nation’s conception!!

[3] http://hellogiggles.com/diy-sock-bun

Soul Surfers

In Plato’s symposium, he states that

‘according to Greek mythology humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs & a head with two faces.  Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.’ 

This is one notion of soul mates.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines soul mates as:

1 a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.

2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs <ideological soul mates>

This notion is not as poetically beautiful and heartbreakingly romantic [i.e. star-crossed lovers] as Plato’s definition, but it does explain the word none the less.  My problem with the idea of soul mates is that it is just that, an idea.  To me, it poses more questions than it answers; and that probably speaks to my character of a skeptic.  Many people, myself included [hence my perplexity], believe that soul mates and love at first sight are interchangeable notions of love.

Here is where my confusion begins.  I personally believe the idea is that even though someone is your soul mate, you may not know it right when you look at them.  I mean, isn’t the whole idea of ‘love at first sight’ rather vapid and shallow seeming? You are falling for a person entirely based on their looks under the quasi guise of ‘the universe pulled us together.’  I doubt it.

I am all for the universe and a higher being putting me where I need to be, don’t get me wrong, but the fact that you can just look at a person and know in your heart of hearts that they were put on this earth as your counterpart? Well, I don’t know; that just seems unrealistic.  But again, I did warn you I was a skeptic.  It is a very sweet idea, nevertheless I just feel like if you do have a soul mate, you only know it after really getting to know them.  Call me old fashioned, but I do not meet someone and know in the first five minutes if I want to be around them forever.  I need to ease into things.  Nevertheless, if we have several dates and conversations and there are cosmic connections and we seem to be two peas in a pod, then okay! Soul mates it is!

Now here is the scary part.

In Plato’s story, it seems that every person only gets one soul mate, one counterpart; That is what makes their love special, right?  Well, who is to say that you and this alleged one perfect mate are on the same continent let alone same state? Wouldn’t that be the universe’s cruelest joke to have this perfect partner for you yet you will never have a chance to know them?  But I guess that is why there are non-believers out there. 

So, most of us settle.  We do not believe in soul mates and perfect relationships because we are realists.  Does that mean you give up on true love?

What if you find your soul mate and they are suddenly taken away from you? Or what if you find them and you grow apart or no longer fit down the road? Does this mean they were never the real soul mate for you, that your connection was possibly a fluke? This is why ‘soul mates’, ‘true love’ and ‘fairy tale romances’ make me nervous; there are so many ways they can be broken in the real world.  Such a comforting notion knowing that you are not alone in the world and there is someone out there who loves you more than anyone ever can, they just haven’t met you yet, scares me.  It brings about more fears than consolation, and quite frankly I am unsure I understand the entire concept. 

Granted, I am probably analyzing and divulging into it more deeply than the great Plato did himself; but what is the point of learning something if you cannot pick it apart and come to your own conclusion?

Where does one go to find their soul mate, because I am sure they are not lurking around the local watering hole.  Or maybe they are, and that is why they are special to the person who finds them there.  I hear all my friends talk about speed dating and internet dating and meeting people in bars and everyone has their fair share of interesting [horror] stories, as my blog certainly can attest, but no prince charming coming out of the rubble.  Is it possible that our soul mates have already jumped ship in looking for us and have settled onto the first love that didn’t end with them drinking poison[1]?

 All these questions spinning through my head around the subject makes me both exhausted and disheartened for ever finding my ‘other half.’  You see, as much as I do wish soul mates existed, never in the definitions (at least from dictionaries) does it say it needs to be on a romantic level.  I mean, if a soul mate is just someone who you love spending time with and has the same beliefs/ideologies/temperament as you do, well then my close friends are my soul mates.  With that conception, albeit sweet, I reaffirm myself that I am going to be single forever with 40 dogs; I could never be a cat lady.

So, my darling romantically hopeful readers, what are your thoughts? Where do you fall on the plight of the soul mate?  I need some optimism to give my dog-filled[2] future some hope.

---

[1] Not being morbid, goes along with the aforementioned ‘star-crossed lovers’ Romeo and Juliet theme.

[2] I love dogs, but having 40 dogs with people names, ‘want to see my son Bill? ::Great Dane::’,  is just a little sad.