Love, Loyalty, Friendship

Loyal: giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.

Obviously, loyalty would be the act of being loyal, which is defined above.  Most people are reading that and rolling their eyes and saying ‘well thank you, Captain Obvious’, but nowadays, loyalty is very much lacking in our society.  You see, once again we can blame the social media obsessed generation our society has found themselves plummeted into, but more than that, people are just selfish beings that have no interest caring about someone else more than themselves.

The Irish have a claddagh ring in which they depict 3 important values; love, loyalty and friendship.  Those 3 values are held high in most societies, even if not publicly worn as ornaments. What the claddagh ring is a great example of, though, is how in any relationship you have [friendship, courtship, partnership, etc] you make a silent contract with that person.  Essentially when engaging in a relationship, as defined, you are pledging your allegiance to this individual. While loyalty is not always so cut and dry, sometimes you need to play the game of chess, it is rather strict on certain social stigmas.

For example, when you are dating someone, you should never let anyone talk about your person.  Sure, maybe there are things you and your friends joke about, things you would say to your significant other’s face, but you should never let someone sit there and badmouth them.  Not only is that disloyal, but it’s disrespectful and blatantly shows disregard for that person’s feelings.  If you are letting someone who does not know your significant other, or is not a fan of theirs, sit there and bash them, well then you really do not care about their feelings.  My view on talking about other people is, if you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all; but if you are going to say something, make sure it is something you have already said to their face.  No one likes a cricket that only makes noise in the shadows and immediately stops chirping when that person comes into the light.  Grow up.

Yet, it is not just courtships that demand loyalty, friendships are very much the same.  I do understand that when there are multiple personalities in play, people get into arguments and maybe not all of your friends like each other, that is understandable! Not everyone is meant to like each other, but you can still be loyal to everyone (see above paragraph about not talking about your person/s.)  There is a huge issue running rampant in the ‘girl world,’ and that is cattiness.  Cattiness is for those basic girls who are all sweet to your face, hugs/kisses/’aww I missed you, girl, we should hang more!’ and then talk about you before you can even turn your back.  Maybe you are thinking of a girl in your group of friends that does that to someone else you know, maybe someone does that to you, who knows, but it is uncalled for and ridiculous.  We are all adults, you should be confident enough in your own assessment of people that if you do not like them, you do not deal with them.  That is it.  There is no need to put on this whole façade and fakeness.  Not everyone is meant to interact on a friendly basis, not a big deal, there are billions of people in this world, it happens. 

However, if you do find yourself in the middle of a group of friends who may not like each other, you may ask how you can be loyal to all sides? Well the thing with that is, never talk about the other parties, not even as simple ‘how is so and so doing?’ great. Shut that down.  The bigger issue that comes into play is social media.  I see a lot of people who blatantly admit to hating someone, but then go and like every picture he/she puts up on their social media outlets.  Now, I don’t know about everyone else, but I have a very hard time playing that game.  I do not do it.  If I do not like you, there is no reason for me to be in your life at all, in any way, shape or form.  While I do understand the need for diplomacy and politics, especially in a small town setting, there is no need to bash someone and then hound their social media under the guise that you are friends.  Something is to be said about the person who can so easily wear that mask; and the thing that is being said is that they are extremely untrustworthy.  If someone will talk about someone else to you, they are talking to someone else about you. 

This goes for men and women alike, there is no reason to be fake.  Being loyal does not only apply to your external relationships, but it applies to yourself as well.  Don’t let anyone take advantage of you, and don’t take advantage of yourself.  Be proud of the person you are, have strength in your convictions, and make sure your word means something.  Because believe me, when you are loyal to someone, you are giving them your word, and that should be enough for them to trust you.