There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Whoever said the aforementioned quote clearly did not live in the Twenty First Century.  There is a lot to fear now a days, ignoring all diseases/cancers/accidents that have plagued man since the beginning of time, there are new dangers.  For the past 12 (okay, 11.5) years Americans have been living in a post terrorism era.  This is an era I have known from my teenage years until present, and which has shaped me more than I really was aware of.

I am one of those people that are very nostalgic and hypersensitive to the attacks on September 11^th.  I can tell you exactly where I was, where my family was, what I was wearing, what happened in the week that followed; I remember everything about that day.  While I remember carefree life before 9/11, I know that tragedy has influenced me more than I cared to believe.

While watching the news footage of the attacks at the Boston Marathon yesterday, I immediately started recalling the news 12 years ago.  I started shaking and wondering how on earth I could get home while avoiding mass transit (pretty impossible, by the way).  I received several text messages from close friends and exboyfriends who were concerned with my level of neurosis on the matter. That’s really when it dawned on me; despite being an adolescent at the time of the attack, not being in the city at the time, but having a perfect view of it from my bedroom window, and having the ash on my car, I have suffered and have some sort of [while self-diagnosed and probably minor] PTSD to such tragedy.  Even today, while I was getting ready for work, I was standing in my bathroom starring myself in the mirror wondering how ridiculous it would be to call out of work.

The NYPD is doing a great job of showing a strong police presence, and ensuring our streets are safer, even though there is no threat.  However, I still feel uneasy.  It is not that I do not trust them, because I know Ray Kelly has the finest and bravest out there on patrol today and every day, it is just that I fear what is uncertain.  You see, there is a lot to fear, and at the end of the day it is always the same thing.  We fear what we do not know will happen.  I know my city is safe, and no matter what we are strong, we will band together and carry through just as we always have, just as Boston is doing now.  Yet it is still the ‘what if’ that puts a chill down my spine, raises all my hairs, and scares me so much I second guess all my routine and daily choices (ie-going to work, taking the subway or bus, going out for lunch, etc). 

The thing with fear is, it’s natural.  It is okay to be afraid of the unknown, the uncertain, the endless possibilities good and bad that can infringe themselves upon you and uproot your life at any given moment.  Life in general is scary.  Fear does not make you weak, it makes you human, keeps you humble and grounded.  However it is letting fear stop you, paralyze you; change your life that is the real cowardice act.  There is a lot to fear in the world, but we  need to band together and trudge on; keep moving forward, pick up the wounded and battered hearts and fight back.  New York learned that lesson many years ago and unfortunately, now it is Boston’s turn.  The people of America are resilient, we know pain and we know we are greater than any coward terror that tries to get one over on us while we are seemingly preoccupied.  We are better than this.  Better days are ahead.